Bill Fox

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/1/11

SUPER BOWL XLV is this Sunday between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers. There are a ton of myths that start circulating every year around Super Bowl time. It leads to heart attacks! It leads to domestic violence! It leads to people gorging on avocados! Well it’s time to figure out what’s true…and what’s B.S.

Everyone flushing the toilet at halftime does not cause sewer problems. It’s been at least a century since sewage systems could be overwhelmed by something like a halftime bathroom rush. We’re in the clear.

Domestic violence does not increase. This is an old myth that says the combination of drunkenness and disappointment leads to an increase in men attacking their wives. No statistics have EVER backed this up.

We don’t eat half of the country’s avocado supply on Super Bowl Sunday. There’s a popular rumor that Americans eat HALF of the avocados consumed in a year as part of their Super Bowl guacamole. It’s not that high…but it is a solid 3% of the total.

It might cause heart attacks. There’s a new study that just came out…that hasn’t been debunked yet…that says the Super Bowl MIGHT lead to more heart attacks. The study analyzed heart attacks in L.A. from Super Bowl Sunday 1980, when the L.A. Rams lost…and from 1984, when the L.A. Raiders won. After the loss, there was a significant increase in heart attacks…after the win, there wasn’t. In the unlikely event that the Steelers lose this Sunday…please call to check on me. If I don’t answer it may be because I’m having a coronary.

SOMETIMES THE BEST PART of the Super Bowl is the commercials. Keep an eye out this Sunday for EMINEM doing one of those Claymation commercials for Lipton Brisk iced tea. The ad supposedly showcases “a day in the life of Eminem.” 

If you haven’t seen one of these ads yet, you can watch the one OZZY OSBOURNE did.

OF COURSE ALL OF CASA DE FOX will be rooting for Pittsburgh this weekend…including the animals…well at least Zora…our Boxer. It’s kinda hard to put a Steeler t-shirt on a guinea pig. 

I’m not a big fan of dressing up animals in clothing…it always seems like it’s verging on animal cruelty. But as it turns out that an extra layer DOES help some dogs stay warm. And it’s something veterinarians suggest all the time.

Here’s why…the normal body temperature for a dog is between 101 and 102 degrees. That means in cold weather, they start feeling cold before we do. If their temperature drops five or six degrees, it lowers their blood pressure, and puts them at risk for kidney damage and hypothermia.

But obviously not ALL dogs need to wear a sweater. Big dogs like Labradors and German shepherds are fine in the cold, as long as they’re active and have a healthy diet. The dogs that DO benefit from extra layers are short-haired breeds and small lap dogs like Chihuahuas and terriers, because they have a harder time retaining body heat. An extra layer is also good for old or sick dogs, because it helps their bodies stay warm without wasting so much energy.

Waterproof coats, sweaters and boots are all good…just don’t buy your dog a hat. Apparently hats just make dogs miserable, and can throw off their equilibrium.

And for the love of football…don’t humiliate them by dressing them up in a cheesehead and a Bret Favre jersey.

WITH ANOTHER MAJOR SNOWSTORM making its way across the nation…chances are you’ll have kids home from school this week. It’s a good thing a bunch of new DVD releases are out today. Most of these are for you…ut there is one kids movie. Here’s what you have to choose from…

Night Catches Us. Anthony Mackie plays a former Black Panther who returns to his old neighborhood to bury his dad, where he’s confronted by hostile suspicions that he was the snitch who got another Black Panther killed. 

Conviction. Hilary Swank plays an uneducated woman who dedicates her entire life to overturning her brother’s murder conviction…even if it means putting herself through law school.  Minnie Driver plays her best friend and Sam Rockwell plays her brother.

Chain Letter. A horror film starring Nikki Reed, as a high school student who gets a chain letter saying that if she and her friends don’t pass it on, someone will die. The rest of the cast includes Chucky star Brad Dourif and Betsy Russell from the Saw movies.

Never Let Me Go. A somewhat depressing drama…starring Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, and  Andrew “Spider-Man” Garfield as three friends who, throughout the course of the film, gradually discover that they’re clones who’ve been created to serve as organ transplant donors.

Let Me In. A horror flick about a boy who becomes best friends with the new girl next door, before figuring out she’s a vampire.
The boy is Kodi Smit-McPhee, who played Viggo Mortensen’s son in The Road.  The vampire is Chloe Moretz, who you’d know as Hit Girl in Kick Ass.

Welcome to the Rileys. Kristen Stewart from Twilight plays a runaway working as a stripper, andJames Gandolfini is a grieving father who befriends her because she reminds him of the daughter he lost in a car crash.

Monsters.  Aliens hitch a ride to Earth on a NASA space probe, most of Mexico is quarantined after the probe crashes, and two Americans have to make a run for the border through the infected zone.

The Tillman Story. A documentary about the cover up of the truth behind Pat Tillman’s death. Tillman gave up his NFL career to join the Army Rangers shortly after September 11th… and died in Afghanistan by friendly fire, even though the military claimed it was enemy fire.

Hatchet II. A slasher flick starring Kane Hodder as deformed hatchet killer Victor Crowley, and Danielle Harris as a chick determined to get revenge for her family’s death. True horror fans know Danielle as Laurie Strode’s daughter in the fourthand fifth Halloween movies, AND as Laurie’s friend Annie in the Rob Zombieremakes.  And Kane Hodder is Jason from the 7th through the 10th Friday the 13th movies.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2. The sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua…only with puppies added. It stars George Lopez and Odette Yustman.

IF YOU WANT YOUR KID to go to an exclusive college…don’t waste your time with Harvard, Yale or Stanford. Any idiot can get in to those schools. If you want them to attend the cream of the crop…then send them to McDonald’s Hamburger University in China.

McDonald’s opened up the Hamburger U outside of Shanghai, and SO many people want in that they’re only accepting the best EIGHT out of every 1,000 applicants.

That’s an acceptance rate under 1%. In comparison, Harvard accepts about 7%of applicants…or about 875% more applicants than Hamburger U.
Yale accepts 7.5%…Stanford 7.6%.

Students who get accepted to the McDonald’s college learn how to manage a McDonald’s restaurant. There are currently 1,300 McDonald’s locations in China, and 1,000 more will be opening over the next four years. 

The fight for spots at Hamburger University is intense because unemployment is even worse over there than it is here.  More than 26% of China’s college graduates are unemployed. When you graduate from Hamburger University, you’re almost guaranteed a job right away. 

A GUY THAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS SMART is KELSEY GRAMMER.  Maybe it was because he played a really smart guy on TV for all of those years.

Well…evidently he isn’t so smart after all. The word is that he prefered curling up with BILL O’REILLY to his semi-hot wife. 

Yesterday  CAMILLE GRAMMER dropped by on The Joy Behar Show and said she and Kelsey hadn’t had sex in over TWO YEARS. 

It sounds like Dr. Frasier Crane needs the number to a good councelor.

I LOVE GAME SHOWS. My dream job is being a game show host…swear to God! I know most people want to be a contestant…but not me. And here’s a perfect example of why…

On a recent episode of a Danish game show called Total Blackout, a contestant had to stand in a pitch-black room and identify three things by smelling them. The first two items were paint and cheese, and he got them both on his first try. But it took him a few guesses to get the third smell.

Thank God that show isn’t in Smell-O-Vision!

THAT’S IT FOR NOW…I have to make the mad dash to the grocery store for the prerequisite milk and bread run before the mother of all snow storms hits Maine. Once you’re snowed in…be sure to check in withme throughout the day on my Facebook page by clicking HERE.