Straight From The Fox Hole 2/10/11
IT’S THE BIGGEST pressure-filled weekend of the year for men around the world. That’s right…it’s Valentines Day Weekend.
Let’s face it guys…a steak at Sizzler and a Valentines Day card you picked up at the grocery store after work and then scribbled your name on in the driveway doesn’t cut it with your lady. Trust me…even if you throw in one of those grocery store bouquet of flowers…she’ll smile and say thank you…but in the back of her mind she’s saying a lot more…and NONE of it’s good.
So what do women want on Valentines Day? According to a new survey, the Valentine’s Day gift that she wants the most is a romantic getaway.
That doesn’t mean an overnight at a motel the next town over with the vibrating bed, free HBO, a six pack, and her wearing that lacey nightie you bought at WalMart for her birthday.
The most popular destination for a romantic getaway is a bungalow on a remote beach. A bed and breakfast in wine country came in second…and a boutique hotel in the city is third.
So far, the most popular destination for Valentine’s weekend this year on Orbitz is Las Vegas…same as last year. Here’s the rest of the Top 10…
2. Orlando
3. Cancun, Mexico
4. New York
5. Chicago
6. Oahu
7. New Orleans
8. Miami
9. Los Angeles
10. San Francisco
Believe it or not…85% of the people surveyed said they’ve never actually given or received a trip as a romantic gift.
GIVING RED ROSES on Valentine’s Day is kind of cliche…so some guys like to branch out. But BEWARE…the flowers you pick might send the wrong message. Marie Claire magazine says these are the secret meanings behind five popular types of flowers.
1. Yellow Tulips. They mean you’re hopelessly in love with her, but you’re worried she’s not that into you.
2. Orchids. They supposedly represent refined beauty, but they make you look pretentious.
3. Pink Carnations. They represent a “mother’s love”, so they’re more appropriate for Mother’s Day than Valentine’s Day.
4. Coriander. It’s actually an herb, but it’s used as filler in bouquets. It also represents “lust”, and means you’re more interested in sex than you are in having a meaningful relationship.
5. Peonies. They look kind of like carnations and represent “shame and bashfulness”…so your woman might think you’re having an affair.
I’m not sure why she would think that…but whatever. I’d like to thank Marie Claire for adding even more anxiety to a holiday that already has enough. But remember: buying ANY kind of flowers on Valentine’s Day is better than not buying them at all. Keep in mind…34% of women say they’d sleep with someone who gives them flowers for Valentine’s Day. Buy the flowers!
THE GUY THAT BETTER buy up the entire flower shop is Chris Lee…the Republican congressman from New York. Well…at least he was a Congressman until yesterday before he resigned…after he was caught trolling for women on Craigslist. Of course, he’s married. Here’s what went down.
On Friday, a woman posted in the ‘Women Seeking Men’ personals of the Washington, D.C. Craigslist. She said she was looking for a man who doesn’t “look like a toad”, was over six feet tall, 30 to 40 years old, and financially and emotionally secure.
Lee responded from a Gmail account, and said he was a 39-year-old divorced lobbyist…even though he’s actually a 46-year-old married Congressman. He also attached a SHIRTLESS photo.
They started talking back and forth, and even though Lee said he was a lobbyist, he used his real name. She Googled him…realized that the guy in the shirtless photo was a Congressman…and cut things off. Then she forwarded all the correspondence and the shirtless photo to the website Gawker, and they published the story.
Early yesterday, Lee wouldn’t confirm or deny anything, but said he needed to, quote, “work this out with my wife.”
Then later in the day, he sent out a press release, resigning from Congress. It included this apology…”I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff, and my constituents. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all.”
THERE’S PROOF THAT VALENTINES DAY isn’t ALL about romance. It’s also the time of year when DIVORCES skyrocket. Apparently, a lot of people take a long, hard look at their marriages…realize that the romance is dead…and can’t fathom even one more Valentine’s Day of choking down a heart-shaped box of chocolates together. So they end things.
A survey found that divorce filings jump 36% around Valentine’s Day, compared to the previous six months. That’s even higher than after the holidays, when a lot of people come down from the Christmas high and end things.
See…you HAVE to buy the flowers…and DON’T send pictures of yourself without a shirt on to strange women on Craigslist.
JUST LIKE ROMANCE…some good things just eventually come to an end. At least Activision seems to think so…because they’re pulling the plug on the Guitar Hero franchise. An exec with the company said they simply can’t make the games profitable based on current economics.
The good news is they’ll still sell the existing games and downloadable extras for the foreseeable future. They just won’t make any NEW Guitar Hero games.
It’s also possible that Activision simply doesn’t believe they can compete with the Rock Band franchise any more, now that they’ve taken it to the next level by adding keyboards to their game. Either way…I guess it’s time for all aspiring guitarist to actually go take lessons like we used to back in the day.
THIS IS WHY I LOVE the game show Family Fued…you just never know what will come out of someone’s mouth.
OH THANK GOD FOR THIS NEWS…the new and improved JUSTIN BIEBER doll is on the way…and this time, the manufacturers have improved his most IMPORTANT physical attribute: his hair. 
A rep for the manufacturer said the when the first series of Justin Bieber dolls came out right before the holidays, the most frequent comment they heard from fans was: ’Why doesn’t the doll have Justin’s hairstyle that you can comb?’
So now he say’s they are thrilled to be able to offer Justin fans the doll they’ve been waiting for. Look for little girls everywhere to invade stores with combs this August.
AND THE COVER of the new issue of MAD magazine features mascot Alfred E. Newman with Justin’s hair. The headline reads… “Justin Bieber…His Stupid Hair! His Dumb Book! His Terrible Movie! His Awful Music!” It should be out by this weekend.
ONE FINAL BIEBER BLURB…just for the stalkers among you…a couple of days ago on Ellen, MATTHEW PERRY claimed Justin uses “Chandler Bing”…his character from Friends… as a fake name when he checks into hotels.
CASUAL FRIDAYS have apparently become Hungover Fridays. According to a new survey, THURSDAYS have replaced Saturdays as the most popular night to go out. Whether that means going out to dinner, going to a movie, or yes, going out and getting blackout drunk…Thursdays are now king.
62% of people overall…and 72% of people under 30…said Thursday is the night when they’re most likely to go out. Saturday came in second, Friday came in third, and Sunday came in fourth.
For people who have a tamer definition of going out, 65% say they eat out instead of cooking on Thursdays…and 45% of people say they try to squeeze in their grocery shopping on Thursday nights to avoid the weekend lines.
For some of us…like the crew of people I ran with while living in Iceland back in the day…Thursday night was ALWAYS the night we started the weekend party. Good to see the average American is finally catching up. I always knew we were trend setters.
CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO of a tractor-trailer driving down a highway in Illinois. It has about five feet of snow piled on top of it… which makes it way too tall to fit under any overpass. Watch what happens when it goes under one at full-speed…
CHECK MY FACEBOOK PAGE throughout the day for more updates and other cool stuff.
And tomorrow, look for my final Straight From The Fox Hole…until the end of next week once I get to my new job in Lincoln.