Archive for February, 2011

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/11/11



AAAAH…THE SMELL OF ROMANCE
is in the air. Or is that fear?

According to a new survey, men don’t hate Valentine’s Day…they FEAR it. 

33% of single men say they intentionally avoid getting into relationships between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day because of the pressure it causes. Another 35% say that, this time of year, they don’t bother even trying to date. 41% would never schedule a first date for Valentine’s Day. However…62% of single women say they’d be fine having a first date on February 14th.

BUT…once Valentine’s Day is over, men start trying to date again.  42% of single men said that finding a girlfriend was their number one priority for the year…compared to 24% who said their career is the top priority.


IF YOU’RE STUCK
 on what to get your woman for Valentine’s Day…here are four gift ideas based on her personality type.

1. She’s the Life of the Party. Take her on a romantic weekend getaway without revealing where you’re going or what you’ll be doing.  Half of the people surveyed in a new poll say it’s the Valentine’s Day gift they want the most.

2. She’s a Go-Getter. You can’t really go wrong with jewelry for ANY type of girl, but it’s perfect for someone who’s a type-A go-getter. Just make sure it’s CLASSY and not TACKY.

3. The Nurturer. Poems and love letters might be considered cheesy, but if she’s the nurturing type, they’re winners. If you can’t write, just get her a book of poems. Or just go with bouquet of her favorite flowers.

4. The Analyst. She likes things that make life more organized and efficient. Which can be difficult for you to be romantic…because nothing says ‘love’ quite like a Slap Chop. Instead, make her a fake coupon book filled with stuff like a back massage, a car wash, or a gourmet dinner at home. Or if that’s too cheesy for you, get her a gift basket filled with candles, hand soap and lotion.

THIS YEAR…lingerie is actually a more popular Valentine’s Day gift than ROSES. And it’s all thanks to the economy. To do roses right, after delivery costs, you’ve spent at least $100. For that money, you can get some pretty good lingerie. Which…in my opinion…provides a LOT more value. Personally, I haven’t decided yet. Thank God Wal-Mart sells both!


IF A ROMANTIC COMEDY
is part of your Valentines day weekend plans…you’re in luck. The new Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston movie opens today.

JUST GO WITH IT.  Adam Sandler almost scares off a new girlfriend…played by the model Brooklyn Decker…when she finds the fake wedding ring he once used to scam women into bed. So he covers it up by pretending his assistant is his ex-wife. Jennifer Aniston is the assistant, but she realizes she has feelings for him too, and drops a few lies of her own. 

 

GNOMEO & JULIETShakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet…for garden gnomes. James McAvoyis GnomeoMontague, who risks forbidden animated love with Emily Blunt’s Juliet. The movie features the voices of Michael Caine, Harry Potter’s Maggie Smith, and Ozzy Osbourne plays a foul-mouthed concrete deer. The movie is littered with music by Elton John.  He also does a duet with Lady Gaga, and Nelly Furtado joins him for an updated version of Crocodile Rock.

If you have a tweener daughter…don’t think for a minute you’re going to get away from taking her and a carload of her BFFs to the Cinemagic to see this one…

JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVERThe movie is essentially a documentary about his quick rise from being a normal Canadian teenager to becoming a DREAMY, GLOBAL sensation.

THE EAGLEChanning Tatum is a 2nd century Roman soldier hoping to restore his father’s honor by recovering the eagle standard of the missing Ninth Legion…which was lost when the legion was destroyed by British tribes 20 years earlier.

IF YOU COULD HAVE A SUPER POWER…what would it be? That’s the question the people at the Marist Institute for Public Opinion recently asked Americans. Here’s what they said…

The ability to time travel was tied for first…with the ability to read minds at 28%. That’s followed by being able to fly…16%. And  teleportation was third with 11%.

Here are a couple of interesting breakdowns by demographic…white people most want the ability to time travel, non-white people most want the ability to read people’s minds.

The ability to turn invisible was most popular among people between 45 and 59 years old. People in the Northeast and South most want the ability to read minds…people in the Midwest and West most want the ability to time travel. 

I gotta go with time travel. Afterall…who among us hasn’t watched Back To The Future and wanted a DeLorian and a Flux Capacitor?

YOU MAY KNOW BY NOW…that I’m leaving this weekend for a new morning show at Today’s Country KX96.9 in Lincoln, NE. I’m very excited about this opportunity for a number of reasons. One of them is the artists.

Country music has great singers and story tellers…and they love to keep it real. MIRANDA LAMBERT is one of my favorites. She’s fiery and fiesty…which is one of the sexiest things about her…but I’m starting to think she has anger issues too. Again…kinda sexy coming from a hot blonde with mad skills.

I mention it because there’s yet another video of her getting ticked off with a fan at one of her shows. This one is from 2008. It shows Miranda confronting a fan who grabbed a sweaty towel from her hands…and wouldn’t give it back. At first she laughs it off but a few seconds later the fan does something to infuriate Miranda…and it’s on.

This makes three videos that I know of where Miranda stopped her show to deal with unruly fans. There was last fall when she threatened to kick two guys’ butts who were fighting in front of the stage. And then…also last year…when she threatened to break up a catfight in front of the stage.

And as luck would have it…guess who’s coming to the Pershing Center in Lincoln on April 9th? That’s right…Miranda Lambert. You better believe I’ll be there…with boxing gloves and my video camera!

TODAY IS FEBRUARY 11th…exactly NINE MONTHS until it’s November 11th, 2011…or 11/11/11. So, if you want your baby to have that birthday…which really would be a cool birthday…then  stop reading this and get busy.

If you don’t have time today, this entire Valentine’s Day-through-President’s Day window should work. For example, if you conceive as late as the 18th, you’re still on target for a November 11th due date. Get to it. 

WHILE I WON’T be posting another STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE for a few days as I head to Lincoln…I WILL be posting on my Facebook page. So check in there for updates from the road or to leave a message. Access the page HERE.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND…and I’ll see you soon.

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/10/11



IT’S THE BIGGEST
pressure-filled weekend of the year for men around the world. That’s right…it’s Valentines Day Weekend.

Let’s face it guys…a steak at Sizzler and a Valentines Day card you picked up at the grocery store after work and then scribbled your name on in the driveway doesn’t cut it with your lady. Trust me…even if you throw in one of those grocery store bouquet of flowers…she’ll smile and say thank you…but in the back of her mind she’s saying a lot more…and NONE of it’s good.

So what do women want on Valentines Day? According to a new survey, the Valentine’s Day gift that she wants the most is a romantic getaway. 

That doesn’t mean an overnight at a motel the next town over with the vibrating bed, free HBO, a six pack, and her wearing that lacey nightie you bought at WalMart for her birthday.

The most popular destination for a romantic getaway is a bungalow on a remote beach. A bed and breakfast in wine country came in second…and a boutique hotel in the city is third.

So far, the most popular destination for Valentine’s weekend this year on Orbitz is Las Vegas…same as last year. Here’s the rest of the Top 10…

2. Orlando
3. Cancun, Mexico
4. New York
5. Chicago
6. Oahu
7. New Orleans
8. Miami
9. Los Angeles
10. San Francisco

Believe it or not…85% of the people surveyed said they’ve never actually given or received a trip as a romantic gift.


GIVING RED ROSES
 on Valentine’s Day is kind of cliche…so some guys like to branch out. But BEWARE…the flowers you pick might send the wrong message. Marie Claire magazine says these  are the secret meanings behind five popular types of flowers. 

1. Yellow Tulips. They mean you’re hopelessly in love with her, but you’re worried she’s not that into you.

2. Orchids. They supposedly represent refined beauty, but they make you look pretentious.

3. Pink Carnations. They represent a “mother’s love”, so they’re more appropriate for Mother’s Day than Valentine’s Day.

4. Coriander. It’s actually an herb, but it’s used as filler in bouquets. It also represents “lust”, and means you’re more interested in sex than you are in having a meaningful relationship.

5. Peonies. They look kind of like carnations and represent “shame and bashfulness”…so your woman might think you’re having an affair. 

I’m not sure why she would think that…but whatever. I’d like to thank Marie Claire for adding even more anxiety to a holiday that already has enough. But remember: buying ANY kind of flowers on Valentine’s Day is better than not buying them at all.  Keep in mind…34% of women say they’d sleep with someone who gives them flowers for Valentine’s Day. Buy the flowers!


THE GUY
THAT BETTER buy up the entire flower shop is Chris Lee…the Republican congressman from New York. Well…at least he was a Congressman until yesterday before he resigned…after he was caught trolling for women on Craigslist. Of course, he’s married. Here’s what went down. 

On Friday, a woman posted in the ‘Women Seeking Men’ personals of the Washington, D.C. Craigslist. She said she was looking for a man who doesn’t “look like a toad”, was over six feet tall, 30 to 40 years old, and financially and emotionally secure.

Lee responded from a Gmail account, and said he was a 39-year-old divorced lobbyist…even though he’s actually a 46-year-old married Congressman. He also attached a SHIRTLESS photo.

They started talking back and forth, and even though Lee said he was a lobbyist, he used his real name. She Googled him…realized that the guy in the shirtless photo was a Congressman…and cut things off. Then she forwarded all the correspondence and the shirtless photo to the website Gawker, and they published the story.

Early yesterday, Lee wouldn’t confirm or deny anything, but said he needed to, quote, “work this out with my wife.” 

Then later in the day, he sent out a press release, resigning from Congress. It included this apology…”I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff, and my constituents. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all.” 

THERE’S PROOF THAT VALENTINES DAY isn’t ALL about romance. It’s also the time of year when DIVORCES skyrocket. Apparently, a lot of people take a long, hard look at their marriages…realize that the romance is dead…and can’t fathom even one more Valentine’s Day of choking down a heart-shaped box of chocolates together. So they end things.

A survey found that divorce filings jump 36% around Valentine’s Day, compared to the previous six months. That’s even higher than after the holidays, when a lot of people come down from the Christmas high and end things.

See…you HAVE to buy the flowers…and DON’T send pictures of yourself without a shirt on to strange women on Craigslist.

JUST LIKE ROMANCE…some good things just eventually come to an end. At least Activision seems to think so…because they’re pulling the plug on the Guitar Hero franchise. An exec with the company said they simply can’t make the games profitable based on current economics.

The good news is they’ll still sell the existing games and downloadable extras for the foreseeable future. They just won’t make any NEW Guitar Hero games. 

It’s also possible that Activision simply doesn’t believe they can compete with the Rock Band franchise any more, now that they’ve taken it to the next level by adding keyboards to their game. Either way…I guess it’s time for all aspiring guitarist to actually go take lessons like we used to back in the day.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE the game show Family Fued…you just never know what will come out of someone’s mouth.

OH THANK GOD FOR THIS NEWS…the new and improved JUSTIN BIEBER doll is on the way…and this time, the manufacturers have improved his most IMPORTANT physical attribute: his hair. 

A rep for the manufacturer said the when the first series of Justin Bieber dolls came out right before the holidays, the most frequent comment they heard from fans was: ’Why doesn’t the doll have Justin’s hairstyle that you can comb?’

So now he say’s they are thrilled to be able to offer Justin fans the doll they’ve been waiting for. Look for little girls everywhere to invade stores with combs this August.

AND THE COVER of the new issue of MAD magazine features mascot Alfred E. Newman with Justin’s hair. The headline reads…  “Justin Bieber…His Stupid Hair! His Dumb Book! His Terrible Movie!  His Awful Music!” It should be out by this weekend. 

ONE FINAL BIEBER BLURB…just for the stalkers among you…a couple of days ago on Ellen, MATTHEW PERRY claimed Justin uses “Chandler Bing”…his character from Friends… as a fake name when he checks into hotels.

CASUAL FRIDAYS have apparently become Hungover Fridays. According to a new survey, THURSDAYS have replaced Saturdays as the most popular night to go out.  Whether that means going out to dinner, going to a movie, or yes, going out and getting blackout drunk…Thursdays are now king.

62% of people overall…and 72% of people under 30…said Thursday is the night when they’re most likely to go out. Saturday came in second, Friday came in third, and Sunday came in fourth.

For people who have a tamer definition of going out, 65% say they eat out instead of cooking on Thursdays…and 45% of people say they try to squeeze in their grocery shopping on Thursday nights to avoid the weekend lines. 

For some of us…like the crew of people I ran with while living in Iceland back in the day…Thursday night was ALWAYS the night we started the weekend party. Good to see the average American is finally catching up. I always knew we were trend setters.

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO of a tractor-trailer driving down a highway in Illinois. It has about five feet of snow piled on top of it… which makes it way too tall to fit under any overpass. Watch what happens when it goes under one at full-speed…

CHECK MY FACEBOOK PAGE throughout the day for more updates and other cool stuff.

And tomorrow, look for my final Straight From The Fox Hole…until the end of next week once I get to my new job in Lincoln.

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/8/11



NOW THAT WE’VE HAD A FULL DAY
 to digest CHRISTINA AGUILERA’S National Anthem blunder, it’s time to ask…What do random celebrities have to say about it?

Well, JOAN RIVERS and Season Five American Idol winner TAYLOR HICKS have stepped forward to absolutely roast Christina. 

Joan said, ”How stupid can you get? Christina must have been thinking about food, that’s why she forgot the words. ’O say can you see…french fries. She’s gotten so big, she looks like she could eat Lady Gaga. Great way to get rid of competition.”

OK…so it’s true. Christina has beefed up a little. But I like a girl that has some curves. She was way too skinny back in the day. What does her weight have to do with how well she sings?

At least it’s natural. Joan is so full of plastic and Botox that she looks like a wax mannequin.

Taylor Tweeted, ”Christina Aguilera hopes ‘true spirit’ of anthem came through. What a JOKE. Practice OUR ANTHEM before using it. Just ask for a Teleprompter. They don’t have to show the prompter on TV. Or just memorize it and go slow. Or use it as a publicity stunt.”

By the way…I’d like to say a special thanks to Taylor for coming out from under the rock of obscurity to toss in his two cents.

But FERGIE…whose BLACK EYED PEAS performed the halftime show…defended Christina. In a radio interview, she said,  “She’s one of the best singers of our time. You get nervous at these things. She’s human.”

I understand both points of view. As an American…and a veteran…I think we should all know the words to our national anthem. But honestly…how many people really do? Just go to any sporting event if you really want to find out.

On the other hand…she has known for months that she was going to perform on the world’s biggest stage…so it seems she would have practiced enough to know the song frontward and backward. And she’s a seasoned performer…so while nerves may have played a part…I can’t believe it was all that different than many other performances that she has given.

However, I’m sure her intentions were good…she just made a mistake. At least she didn’t make a mockery of it like Roseanne did several years ago.

 

So I say let it go…stop beating her up. The woman made a mistake in front of 111 million people. I think she probably feels bad enough without anyone else piling on.

BY THE WAY…this year’s Super Bowl…was the most-watched TV program OF ALL TIME. According to the early numbers, this year’s game eclipsed last year’s by almost 5 million viewers. This is the second straight year that the Super Bowl has set a new all-time ratings mark. Before last year’s game, M*A*S*H held the record for 27 years. 106 million people tuned in for the season finale in 1983.

WHILE NO ONE will ever to ask her to sing the national anthem again…the people at TiVo say the Super Bowl commercial that was watched, rewound and re-watched the most times was: the Snickers commercial featuring RICHARD LEWIS and ROSEANNE BARR.

 

The Best Buy ad with OZZY OSBOURNE and JUSTIN BIEBER  was second.

The PepsiMax “Love Hurts” ad was the third most re-watched.

NOW THAT THE SUPER BOWL is over…we just have to ride out the rest of winter and count the days until spring flowers arrive. Whatever will we do with our time?

How about get our freak on? 

According to a new poll by the Associated Press and Weather Underground, 15% of Americans who’ve been stuck inside because of winter storms say that they’ve had MUCH MORE SEX than usual. Unfortunately, another 15% have had the opposite reaction…either the weather has made them feel un-sexual or it’s just too cold to take their pants off, because they’ve had LESS sex during the winter. The rest of the people surveyed said the weather hasn’t had any impact on their sex lives.

HERE’S A NICE NEW passive-aggressive excuse to break up with someone: ”I’m sorry, our birth orders just aren’t compatible.”  How can someone even respond to that?

There’s a new book out called Birth Order:  What Your Position In the Family Really Tells You About Your Character.  It lays out the most compatible people for you to date, based on their birth order. Take a look…

First-born with last-born works. Oldest siblings are more likely to want to take care of people, and youngest siblings want to be cared for.

Only child with youngest child works.  eople who are the youngest in their family inspire creativity and freedom in people who didn’t have any siblings.

Two last-borns work. They might be too immature together, but they can also bring out the best in each other.

A middle child is compatible with anyone. Middle children tend to be able to adapt to anyone. They can calm down an overbearing first-born, get along well with another middle child, support someone who was the youngest, or let an only child take charge.

Two first-borns DON’T work.  here’s too big a risk for conflict, since first-borns are usually competitive and want to be in charge.
I find this one interesting since both Charmen and I are first born…and we both definately like being in charge! Hmmm…maybe this explains some of those stupid arguments we will occasionally have.

First-born and only child DOESN’T work. Both are used to being in charge and getting their way.

Two only children DON’T work. It’s just too much of both people thinking of themselves. 


SEVERAL MOVIES
are out on DVD today. Some of these look really good. Others…not so much. Anyway…here’s the biggest of the bunch…

For Colored Girls. Based on the play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf.  The all-star cast includes Thandie Newton, Janet Jackson, Anika Noni Rose, Kerry Washington, Whoopi Goldberg, Phylicia Rashad, Macy Gray, and Diary of a Mad Black Woman’s Kimberly Elise. It’s directed by Tyler Perry.

The Romantics. Katie Holmes plays a bridesmaid trying to avoid getting sucked into a love triangle with her ex-boyfriend on the night before his wedding.  Anna Paquin plays the bride and Josh Duhamel is the groom.

Life as We Know It. A romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel as godparents who can’t stand each other. But after their goddaughter is orphaned, they move in together for her sake and eventually fall in love.

It’s Kind of a Funny Story. Keir Gilchrist checks himself into a hospital’s psychiatric ward and gets stuck with the nutcases for five days.  The Hangover’s Zach Galifianakis plays an older patient who takes him under his wing. Emma Roberts plays another troubled teen he falls in love with.

You Again. Kristen Bell finds out her brother is marrying her high school rival…Odette Yustman…the hot chick in CloverfieldBetty White as Kristen’s grandma. And Kristen’s mom and Odette’s aunt were ALSO high school rivals. They’re played by Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver.

Middle Men. Luke Wilson plays a businessman who immerses himself in the sex industry while helping build the world’s first billing company for online smut. Kelsey Grammer is a senator he blackmails, and James Caan is a mobster collecting on a loan.

Paranormal Activity 2. This time the action takes place at the home of Katie’s sister and her unsuspecting husband. And since it’s a prequel, Katie’s back too. 

My Soul to Take. A serial killer vows to kill seven kids born the night he died. When people start dying, the survivors think one of them is the reincarnated killer. It’s written and directed by Nightmare on Elm Street genius Wes Craven.

IF VIDEO GAMES are more your thing…Mario Sports Mix…is in stores today…exclusively for the Wii. In this one you get to use Mario and the usual cast of Nintendo characters to compete in street basketball, volleyball, dodge ball, and both field and ice hockey.

MEET “WILD” BILL…a chubby super-fan named who for the past two seasons has been attending Utah State home basketball games dressed as various Disney Characters. Last week, he dressed up as the teapot from Beauty and the Beast.Then when a visiting player was shooting free throws, Wild Bill started dancing while the entire student section sang I’m a Little Teapot

BE SURE TO check out my Facebook page throughout the day. I have some really good stuff I’ll be posting a little later. If you aren’t a fan yet click HERE. Then hit the LIKE button and you’ll have access to lots of funny videos and stories.

As always…thanks for reading.

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/7/11



IT WAS A SAD DAY
for Pittsburgh Steeler fans around the world. As I’m sure you know by now…the Green Bay Packers held off the Pittsburgh Steelers to win Super Bowl 45 yesterday, by a score of 31 to 25.

The Packers jumped out to an early lead…and seemed on the brink of a blow out when they went ahead 21-3 late in the second quarter.

But the Steelers got a touchdown just before halftime, and they carried the momentum into the second half…then closed the gap to just four points in the third, and later three points in the fourth.  But they never caught up thanks to THREE turnovers…which all led to scores…while the Packers didn’t turn the ball over once.

Packers quarterback AARON RODGERS was named the MVP.


MAYBE A BIGGER FLUB
than all of the Steeler turnovers was CHRISTINA AGUILERA messing up the the National Anthem.  She was about to sing the fourth line of the song, which goes…”O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.” 

Instead, she sang…”What so proudly we watched, at the twilight’s last reaming.”

 

Afterwards, Christina said she just got caught up in the moment…”I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through.” 

Obviously it can happen to any singer…and it does all the time…but Christina DID sing it correctly at Game 7 of the NBA finals last June.

THE REALLY BIG WINNERS were the commercials. There were some really good ones. Doritos had a few big ads early in the game, including one that blew up online featuring a guy licking Doritos cheese dust off his co-workers’ fingers.

Volkswagen killed it with a commercial featuring a little kid dressed as DARTH VADER trying to use the Force on different objects…and thinking he succeeded when his dad secretly started his Volkswagen with the remote.  I actually posted it last week.



Snickers
tried to recapture the magic they had last year when they relaunched BETTY WHITE into a superstar. But this year, they picked a couple of far less likeable celebrities… RICHARD LEWIS and ROSEANNE BARR

I liked the commercial…mostly because Roseanne got hit with a giant log…but I still don’t see this leading to her hosting Saturday Night Live by popular demand in a few months.

If you missed any of the commercials…or you just want to watch them again…click HERE

LEADING UP TO THE SUPER BOWL…Visa had been running those ads with the four old guys in the Never Miss a Super Bowl club. They’ve been at EVERY SINGLE SUPER BOWL in person, starting with Super Bowl One in 1967.

Well…it looks like the Visa ad was a jinx. One of the four guys MISSED this Super Bowl. And, to make it worse, he’s a lifelong Green Bay Packers fan.

The guy who missed the game is 79-year-old Robert Cook of Brown Deer, WI. He had to be hospitalized with an illness. So his two daughters went to see the game instead, and took a photo of their dad on a stick to hold up. The other three men in the club made it to the game.

THE ONE WEEK I SKIP SNL…and the show was actually good! If you missed it too…Wayne’s World returned. DANA CARVEY hosted, and MIKE MEYERS guest starred. The shows started with the two of them giving their 2011 Oscar picks.

AS I WRITE THIS…one of my neighbors is probably stealing my Wi-Fi. According to a new nationwide survey, 32% of Americans… or ONE out of THREE… admit they’re stealing their neighbor’s Wi-Fi Internet connection. 

In other words…if you don’t have a password on your wireless Internet router, there’s a pretty decent chance someone in the area is leeching off you. 

In 2008, only 18% of people said they were hopping on a neighbor’s Wi-Fi connection. Then again, a lot more people have high-speed Internet today than back in ’08. 

There are two big reasons you should password-protect your connection so that other people can’t steal from you. One, you’re PAYING for that connection…probably a lot of money. And two, if your Internet connection isn’t secure, someone else could jump on it and easily hack your Facebook password…or use your connection to download illegal things…maybe something as sick and twisted as  child pornography. 

If you don’t know how to make your connection secure…just ask your kid!

IT’S A BIG DAY FOR PEOPLE who like to inconspicuously drink HUGE AMOUNTS of wine while they’re at work. 

STARBUCKS has been rolling out its 31-ounce size, called the Trenta. Well…someone figured out that the cup is big enough that once you’re done with your iced coffee, you can fill the cup with an ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE.

Now that you know…my advice is to get to TRADER JOES and pick up a bottle of Two Buck Chuck. Bottoms up!

THE RECESSION IS HURTING RELATIONSHIPS…or at least those folks trying to end their relationship. A new study has found that 38% of couples who were thinking about getting divorced or separated in the past few years have stayed together… because of the recession. 

Divorce is expensive, and in an era where jobs and steady income can be hard to come by, people are choosing a somewhat-unhappy-but-financially-secure marriage over the freedom of splitting up, and being straight-up broke.

The recession has also helped some couples that weren’t considering splitting up. 29% of couples said that the recession has made their marriage stronger. Only 13% say that it’s made their marriage weaker.

ONE COUPLE obviously not feeling the pinch is CAMERON DIAZ and ALEX RODRIGUEZ. Cameras caught Cameron feeding A-Rod popcorn yesterday at the Super Bowl.

ONE FINAL FOOTBALL NOTE…The NFL has been putting microphones on players and coaches for years.  But what if they put one on the FOOTBALL?

JUST A NOTE…this is the last full week that I’ll be putting out STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE for a couple of weeks. Next Monday and Tuesday I’ll be on the road headed to Lincoln, NE and unable to post.

So enjoy this week…and then I’ll try to get things back to normal on 2/16/11 if possible.

As always…check my FACEBOOK page for updates throughout the day.

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/4/11



THE SUPER BOWL is this Sunday. 
If you’re on one of the two Super Bowl teams, the week before the game should rank as THE biggest week of your career. That’s why Steelers quarterback BEN ROETHLISBERGER spent Tuesday night…AT A BAR.

Ben and some of his teammates…
not sure who specifically…showed up at Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar in Fort Worth, TX at about 11:00 P.M., and stayed until 1:15 A.M.

Ben was knocking back rum and Diet Cokes, and even sang along to BILLY JOEL’S Piano Man. Watch the video HERE.

Ben says he wasn’t being bad…he was just following tradition…”It was a superstition and tradition on Tuesday night. I take the linemen out to dinner.

A source at the bar said Ben was, ”nice, fun and took care of everyone.” He ran up an $800 tab, and left a $200 tip.

Let’s hope it pays off…and the O Line keeps Ben protected and his backside off the turf on Sunday. GO STEELERS! 

OF COURSE SOME OF YOU just watch the game for the commercials. As a matter of fact…according to a new survey…one of eight people watches the Super Bowl just for the ads. Here’s a new one that promises to be one of the better commercials this Sunday…it’s a kid dressed as Darth Vader trying to use the Force on different stuff around the house.

FOX HAS REJECTED this Christian-themed Super Bowl ad for the site LookUp316.com, supposedly because “it advanced specific religious beliefs.” 

WATCH THE 100 BEST Super Bowl commercials EVER by clicking  HERE


FOR MANY OF YOU LADIES…
the best part of the Super Bowl is those hot guys with the well-toned butts in those tight, white pants. With that in mind, E! Online has put together a list of the 15 Hottest NFL Hunks.  Here they are…

Tom Brady
Chad Ochocinco
Peyton and Eli Manning
Troy Polamalu
Terrell Owens
Mark Sanchez
Aaron Rodgers
Reggie Bush
Tony Romo
Miles Austin
Jay Cutler
Jason Taylor
Heath Miller
Hank Baskett
Adrian Peterson

IF THE SUPER BOWL isn’t your thing…maybe you should go see a new movie. Here’s what you have to choose from this weekend…

THE ROOMMATE. “Gossip Girl’s” Leighton Meester plays a deranged college freshman who becomes obsessed with her new roommate, Minka Kelly from Friday Night Lights.

SANCTUM. A team of cave divers is trapped underground after a freak storm collapses the cave entrance. With their exit blocked, the group is forced to go deeper into the cave system to try to find another way out before they use up their oxygen supply. It’s based on a true story and produced by Titanic’s James Cameron.

WHERE ARE ALL MY FREAKS? Check out a map called the Kinky States of America. An artist put it together by analyzing how kinky people get in their online dating profiles all around the country.

He found that New Mexico has the kinkiest men, followed by Arizona and Mississippi . West Virginia has the kinkiest women, followed by Iowa and Alaska. Some states, like Wyoming and Minnesota, have almost no kink.

IF YOU PREFER KISSING OVER KINK…here are the results from a new survey on kissing from the people at Harlequin romance novels. While most of it seems pretty believable, I just can’t wrap my head around one result. 

Only 41% of the people in the survey say they’ve ever regretted kissing someone. Really. Three out of five people claim they have had such perfect control of their love lives…and alcohol tolerance… that they’ve NEVER made a mistake. Riiiiiiight!Here are some other…more believable…findings from the survey:

One out of three Americans say they’ve kissed a coworker. One out of four say that their favorite kissing memory ever is with their current partner. Only one in ten people say that bad kissing skills are a deal-breaker. Well count me as that one person! If you can’t kiss…then it’s like Monopoly. Do not pass GO do not collect $200. 

More than half of Americans say they’ve never used a kiss to get something they wanted, to tease someone, or to make someone jealous. OK…I call BS! Any woman that said she’s never done that is a liar!

53% of people say that men still need to always make the move when it comes to a first kiss.

OOPS! A female news reporter in Missouri named Alex Swoyer was reporting on a lawyer who was working “pro bono” defending a murder suspect.  And “pro bono” is what she MEANT to say.



SIX MONTHS AGO…
I was fired as the long-time morning host at 107-5 FRANK-FM in Portland, ME. The official explanation was that the station was “moving in a different direction.”  Which, in this case, was code for, “you make too much money.”

However, they were right about that “different direction” thing. Their latest rating saw them get trounced by nearly every radio station in Portland…as they came in 10th place with listeners 12+. For the record…that’s not usually the direction a radio station wants to go!

So for six months I’ve done my best to stay positive and enoy my  unplanned vacation. I’ve slept late…which is a luxury that I haven’t had in many years. I got some projects around the house finished…and spent a lot time doing laundry and making dinner…all while looking for a new morning show opportunity.

During that time I had several phone interviews. And I was flown to Colorado Springs, CO…San Antonio, TX…and Lincoln, NE to interview face to face.

Searching for a job…especially a new morning show…is a slow process. A lot of my friends and collegues thought I was crazy when I turned down not one…but three different job offers. I even had a couple of people suggest that I leave radio all together and pursue other interests.

I tried to explain to them that I didn’t want to settle for just any job. So a lot of people thought I was holding out for the biggest market possible and the most money. That’s so unture! It isn’t about how large the market is or how big the company is…it has always been about finding the right fit for my family, our lifestyle, and the quality of the company.

Well I’m happy to say that we’ve finally found the right fit. Yesterday, I agreed to do mornings at New Country KX96.9 in Lincoln, NE.

I flew there last week, met the staff, toured the city…and loved what I saw…a vibrant group of radio stations with happy employees. Lincoln is an amazing college town…home of the University of Nebraska. And if you know anything about college football…Cornhusker fans are insane! We’re already looking forward to attending our first game.

Of course baseball is a huge part of our family. Lincoln has a fantastic Little League program. The Lincoln Salt Dogs minor league team plays downtown…and just up the road in Omaha there’s the Kansas City Royals AAA team, The Storm Chasers. And if we want to go see the Royals they’re just a few hours away in Kansas City.

As a little aside…the station gives away a lot of Royals tickets throughout the season. They just happen to play our beloved Boston Red Sox in August. During the negotiations this week, Nick said I should tell them that they could seal the deal with four tickets to one of those games. So as we got closer to finalizing things…I actually told them. I’m now happy to report that we’ll be fully decked out in all of our best Sox gear in KC come August!

Thanks to everyone that offered words of encouragement and support over the past six months. Special thanks to Tom Cook, Mike Yeager, Joel Denver, Mike & Mandy, and Joel Burke…all who offered exceptional help during this search.

Special thanks to my aunt Leone for insight into Nebraska…and my buddy Nelson who works on the air in Omaha. Of course a BIG thanks to Joy Patten…my new GM. Joy was my tour guide in Lincoln…bought me my first Runza…and was patient and understanding as we worked through getting this deal done.

And it goes without saying…a HUGE THANK YOU to all of our friends here in Maine. We love you guys so much and will truly miss you. Thank God for Facebook and Skype!

Alright there it is…the official announcement that so many of you have been texting, e-mailing, and Facebooking about! By the way…you’re all invited to Nebraska for a BBQ this summer!

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/3/11



I GUESS I’LL SKIP
that second cup of coffee. According to a new study from Bristol University in England, when women drink coffee, it gives them a temporary boost in brainpower. When men drink coffee, it has the opposite effect. 

In the study, some men and women tried to do tasks like puzzles, negotiations, and memory challenges after drinking regular coffee, and some tried to do them after decaf. 

Men had a lot more trouble with memory and decision-making when they were ratcheted up on caffeine compared to when they drank decaf. Women did better on all of the tasks after drinking regular coffee.

The researchers say they’re not exactly sure why drinking coffee has opposite effects on the genders.


I’M LOVING THE NEW SEASON OF AMERICAN IDOL
and from the looks of the ratings…so isn’t America. After an initial dip, the rating are back up and Idol was actually the top rated TV show last week.

I love the personal stories of tragedy and triumph.  Billboard.com has put together a list of The Top 10 American Idol Sob Stories…which is basically a rundown of the most tear-jerking stories that have come out during the show’s 10 seasons. Here’s the full list, along with videos…

CHRIS MEDINA…from THIS season. He talked about how he’s taking care of his fiancée because she was left brain damaged following a bad accident just two months before they were supposed to get married.

 

DANNY GOKEY…from Season Eight. His wife, Sophia, died while having heart surgery just four weeks before he tried out for Idol.

 

ANGELA MARTIN…from Season Nine…although she tried out three times. Her father was murdered. Her mother went missing. Her daughter has seizures. And she was once disqualified for being briefly jailed on a traffic violation.

DAVID COOK…from Season Seven. David’s brother, Adam, was fighting brain cancer during David’s winning run on Idol. At one point, Adam’s doctors cleared him to go to L.A. to see David perform live. Adam died in 2009.

ASIA’H EPPERSON…from Season Seven.  Asia’h's dad died in a car accident just two days before her Idol audition. It actually happened MINUTES after she called him to tell him she was on her way to the audition.

SCOTT MACINTYRE…from Season Eight. Scott was the guy who made it all the way to the Top 10 despite being almost entirely blind.

ANTHONY FEDEROV…from Season Four. After suffering complications of a breathing problem when he was little, doctors said they didn’t think he’d be able to talk again. He did, and he could sing, too. He ended up finishing fourth.

JOSIAH LEMING…from Season Seven. Josiah was an 18-year-old high school dropout, who lived in his car. But he even admitted that he wasn’t homeless out of necessity…he was doing it to follow his dream.

JIM VERRAROS…from Season One. Both of Jim’s parents are deaf, and yet he said they went to every one of his shows to support him…even though they’ve never been able to actually hear him sing.

KATIE STEVENS…from Season Nine. She talked about her grandmother, who’s suffering from Alzheimer’s. She said she wanted her grandmother to see her succeed before she forgets who she is.

It’s amazing how American Idol has changed, visually, over the years.  The format for the auditions is basically the same, but look at the set in that Jim Verraros video.  It looks like this is happening in a middle school auditorium. Just think about the sets they have been using this season…they’re either in some famous space like the Ryman Auditorium, or in some kind of observation deck overlooking the local majestic body of water.


A SHOW THAT I USED TO LOVE
is Survivor. Somewhere along the way I just lost interest and stopped watching for a few years. Then a couple of seasons ago I got sucked back into it for a while. I think I’ve finally kicked the habit for good…but the show is still going strong. 

The show is actually back in the news….but not for a good reason. CBS and Survivor recently filed a lawsuit against JIM EARLY…a blogger who posts under the name “missyae” on the forum site SurvivorSucks.com.

Early was leaking all kinds of Survivor results, secrets and other information that wouldn’t be known to anyone who wasn’t involved with the show. 

CBS offered to drop the lawsuit, but only if Early revealed his source. He did…saying that it was Survivor villain RUSSELL HANTZ. That made sense, because Early’s biggest leaks came in the seasons Russell competed in…19 and 20.

The lawsuit was dropped…and now CBS could go after Russell.  Leaking information about the show is not only in breach of a contestant’s contract, it also reportedly comes with a $5 million penalty. 

The problem is Russell is one of their more popular contestants…AND he’s back on the upcoming season…called Survivor:  Redemption Island…which premieres February 16th. 

Russell has never commented on the lawsuit against Early, but last month, he did post this on his Facebook page: ”Please respect me as I respect my fans. I will NOT talk about Season 22 so please don’t ask until it’s over. I respect the show and the people involved in it…and the people who try to spoil the show can suck my ass.”

Well that’s nice. And typical Russell.

THE HUGE SNOWSTORM that swept across the country earlier this week really did a number on Chicago. The Windy City got over 20 inches of snow in two days. Lake Shore Drive…the main road that runs along Lake Michigan…got so packed with traffic, people had to abandon their cars. ABC News did a report on it.

Some guy also posted pretty good footage of it on YouTube.

YET ANOTHER REASON to NOT watch MTV…they’re  bringing back Beavis and Butt-Head.  They made the announcement yesterday.  Actually, they had the cast of Skins
make the announcement for them at a press event…just to make sure they had everyone’s attention.

There’s no premiere date yet, but they said it’ll happen sometime this year. Beavis and Butt-Head originally aired on MTV from 1993 to 1997.

Which is just about the time I gave up and stopped watching MTV.

HERE’S A GREAT LOOK at men, women, the Super Bowl, and priorities. And one thing’s clear…football is important to a lot of men…but it can’t trump sweet, sweet love!

According to a new survey by the dating site Zoosk.com, men are more likely than women to choose having sex over watching the Super Bowl. As a matter fo fact…50% of men would pick sex over the game…versus 27% of women.

Here are some more results from the survey…

Green Bay was ranked a less romantic city than Pittsburgh… although the most common answer was “neither one is romantic.”

Men are more likely to be rooting for Green Bay on Sunday, women are more likely to be rooting for Pittsburgh.

Men said that the football player they’d most like to have a drink with is BRETT FAVRE. Women said the football player they’d most like to have a drink with is TOM BRADY

Women also voted RYAN CLARK of the Steelers as the most attractive player in the Super Bowl.  AARON RODGERS of the Packers came in second.


WHAT? NO LADIES
want to snuggle up with one of those big beefy offensive linemen like the Steeler’s Willie Colon…seen here enjoying a post game snack? Come on now…those big boys need some love too.

Between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers, you’d have your choice of 26 players who weigh over 300 pounds…13 on each team. 

Back in 1970…the NFL had one 300 hundred pounder IN THE ENTIRE NFL. In 1980 it was up to three. By 1990, that jumped to 94. In 2000, it was up to 301 players. And in 2010, it was up to 394. That’s a 3,940% increase over 40 years.

Creatine and other non-banned weight lifting supplements get the most credit. Players are able to pack on muscle now faster than ever. And to stay competitive in the modern game, they have to be as strong as possible.

As for whether that’s healthy in the long term…well, no. But it’s part of what it takes to play in the NFL now…so all of the players seem fine with putting on the weight. 

Erik Williams is a former lineman for the Dallas Cowboys who weighed over 300 pounds during his 11 seasons. He says that even though he’s disabled right now…and needs two hip replacements…he wouldn’t change a thing.

MOST YEARS FOR THE SUPER BOWL…the mayors of the two cities involved make some sort of lame bet. So someone with the Upright Citizens Brigade comedy group made a parody video about the mayors of Green Bay and Pittsburgh making a RIDICULOUS bet.

Mayors Go Hardcore on Super Bowl Bet UCBcomedy.com
Watch more comedy videos from the twisted minds of the UCB Theatre at UCBcomedy.com

BE SURE TO check out my FACEBOOK page throughout the day for updates and other cool stuff…and look for another STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE tomorrow morning.

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/2/11



GREAT NEWS THIS MORNING…
put away your parkas and get out your shorts!

Despite over half of the United States being blasted by severe weather…a rodent in Pennsylvania says spring is on the way!

EVERY YEAR AT THIS TIME…sports books go all out for the Super Bowl. You can throw your money down on a lot more than just the game…here are some of the best ones you can bet on this year…

How long will it take CHRISTINA AGUILERA to sing the National Anthem? Over one minute, 54 seconds gets two-to-three odds…the odds that it’ll go less than a minute, 54 seconds are six-to-five.

What will FERGIE wear in the halftime show?  The BLACK EYED PEAS are performing at the half. Fergie wearing pants or a dress gets even odds…shorts are three-to-one…a bodysuit is seven-to-one …and a THONG is at 10-to-one.

How many times will FOX mention BRETT FAVRE during the game?  avre was the last QB to lead the Packers to the Super Bowl. The odds he gets over 2.5 mentions are one-to-two…the odds of fewer mentions are three-to-two.

Which Super Bowl commercial will rate highest on the USA Today Ad Meter? Budweiser and Bud Light both have 11-to-four odds…Doritos has 11-to-two…GoDaddy is 10-to-1…Pepsi is six-to-one…and any other ad is five-to-two.

You can check out even more bets HERE.


ABOUT TWO OUT OF EVERY THREE
 
Americans plan on watching the Super Bowl. That’s the reason companies will happily pay $3 MILLION for a 30-second ad during the game. The other 364 days of the year, we hate ads and fast forward through them. During the Super Bowl, people talk about the ads, dissect them…and pay more attention to THEM than to the game.

According to a new survey, of the people who plan on watching the Super Bowl, 12%, or about one out of eight, are watching it ONLY to see the commercials. Budweiser commercials are the ones people are anticipating the most, followed by Bud Light, Doritos, Go Daddy, and Pepsi.  

61% of people who are watching the Super Bowl say they’re most looking forward to the game itself. 19% are just in it for the party. 
The most common place that people will watch the game is at home. The second-most common place to watch is at a Super Bowl party.


THE MOST DESIRABLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD IS… 
Gossip Girl hottie BLAKE LIVELY.  She jumped a massive 84 spots in the AskMen.com annual survey. Her profile was probably lifted considerably by her appearance last year in BEN AFFLECK’S crime thriller, The Town.

Here’s the Top 10 for this years 99 Most Desirable Women in the World…
1.  Blake Lively
2.  Mila Kunis
3.  Sofia Vergara
4.  Selita Ebanks
5.  Miranda Kerr
6.  British singer Cheryl Cole
7.  Scarlett Johansson
8.  Katy Perry
9.  Anne Hathaway
10. Mad Men actress Jessica Pare

It looks like brunettes are in this year…because 70 of the 99 women on the list have dark hair. 27 are blondes and two are redheads.

You can check out the complete list HERE.


WHAT THE HECK
happened to Cyndi Lauper’s face? She was photographed looking HORRIBLE the other day at Los Angeles International Airport. The skin on her face was all red and blotchy.

Fortunately for Cyndi, there’s nothing seriously wrong with her.  Her rep says she had a bad reaction to a spa treatment.

A COUPLE IN FLORIDA tried to break the world record for largest functioning yo-yo, and started by building one that weighed almost 7,000 pounds. But when they tried to use it…things didn’t go so well.

THAT’S IT FOR TODAY…the kids are home from school because of the snow and I need to shovel the deck.

Be sure to check my FACEBOOK page later today to learn how to sing like a rock star!

Straight From The Fox Hole 2/1/11



SUPER BOWL XLV
is this Sunday between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers. There are a ton of myths that start circulating every year around Super Bowl time. It leads to heart attacks! It leads to domestic violence! It leads to people gorging on avocados! Well it’s time to figure out what’s true…and what’s B.S.

Everyone flushing the toilet at halftime does not cause sewer problems. It’s been at least a century since sewage systems could be overwhelmed by something like a halftime bathroom rush. We’re in the clear.

Domestic violence does not increase. This is an old myth that says the combination of drunkenness and disappointment leads to an increase in men attacking their wives. No statistics have EVER backed this up.

We don’t eat half of the country’s avocado supply on Super Bowl Sunday. There’s a popular rumor that Americans eat HALF of the avocados consumed in a year as part of their Super Bowl guacamole. It’s not that high…but it is a solid 3% of the total.

It might cause heart attacks. There’s a new study that just came out…that hasn’t been debunked yet…that says the Super Bowl MIGHT lead to more heart attacks. The study analyzed heart attacks in L.A. from Super Bowl Sunday 1980, when the L.A. Rams lost…and from 1984, when the L.A. Raiders won. After the loss, there was a significant increase in heart attacks…after the win, there wasn’t. In the unlikely event that the Steelers lose this Sunday…please call to check on me. If I don’t answer it may be because I’m having a coronary.

SOMETIMES THE BEST PART of the Super Bowl is the commercials. Keep an eye out this Sunday for EMINEM doing one of those Claymation commercials for Lipton Brisk iced tea. The ad supposedly showcases “a day in the life of Eminem.” 

If you haven’t seen one of these ads yet, you can watch the one OZZY OSBOURNE did.

 

OF COURSE ALL OF CASA DE FOX will be rooting for Pittsburgh this weekend…including the animals…well at least Zora…our Boxer. It’s kinda hard to put a Steeler t-shirt on a guinea pig. 

I’m not a big fan of dressing up animals in clothing…it always seems like it’s verging on animal cruelty. But as it turns out that an extra layer DOES help some dogs stay warm. And it’s something veterinarians suggest all the time.

Here’s why…the normal body temperature for a dog is between 101 and 102 degrees. That means in cold weather, they start feeling cold before we do. If their temperature drops five or six degrees, it lowers their blood pressure, and puts them at risk for kidney damage and hypothermia.

But obviously not ALL dogs need to wear a sweater. Big dogs like Labradors and German shepherds are fine in the cold, as long as they’re active and have a healthy diet. The dogs that DO benefit from extra layers are short-haired breeds and small lap dogs like Chihuahuas and terriers, because they have a harder time retaining body heat. An extra layer is also good for old or sick dogs, because it helps their bodies stay warm without wasting so much energy.

Waterproof coats, sweaters and boots are all good…just don’t buy your dog a hat. Apparently hats just make dogs miserable, and can throw off their equilibrium.

And for the love of football…don’t humiliate them by dressing them up in a cheesehead and a Bret Favre jersey.

WITH ANOTHER MAJOR SNOWSTORM making its way across the nation…chances are you’ll have kids home from school this week. It’s a good thing a bunch of new DVD releases are out today. Most of these are for you…ut there is one kids movie. Here’s what you have to choose from…

Night Catches Us. Anthony Mackie plays a former Black Panther who returns to his old neighborhood to bury his dad, where he’s confronted by hostile suspicions that he was the snitch who got another Black Panther killed. 

 

Conviction. Hilary Swank plays an uneducated woman who dedicates her entire life to overturning her brother’s murder conviction…even if it means putting herself through law school.  Minnie Driver plays her best friend and Sam Rockwell plays her brother.

Chain Letter. A horror film starring Nikki Reed, as a high school student who gets a chain letter saying that if she and her friends don’t pass it on, someone will die. The rest of the cast includes Chucky star Brad Dourif and Betsy Russell from the Saw movies.

Never Let Me Go. A somewhat depressing drama…starring Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, and  Andrew “Spider-Man” Garfield as three friends who, throughout the course of the film, gradually discover that they’re clones who’ve been created to serve as organ transplant donors.

Let Me In. A horror flick about a boy who becomes best friends with the new girl next door, before figuring out she’s a vampire.
The boy is Kodi Smit-McPhee, who played Viggo Mortensen’s son in The Road.  The vampire is Chloe Moretz, who you’d know as Hit Girl in Kick Ass.

Welcome to the Rileys. Kristen Stewart from Twilight plays a runaway working as a stripper, andJames Gandolfini is a grieving father who befriends her because she reminds him of the daughter he lost in a car crash.

Monsters.  Aliens hitch a ride to Earth on a NASA space probe, most of Mexico is quarantined after the probe crashes, and two Americans have to make a run for the border through the infected zone.

The Tillman Story. A documentary about the cover up of the truth behind Pat Tillman’s death. Tillman gave up his NFL career to join the Army Rangers shortly after September 11th… and died in Afghanistan by friendly fire, even though the military claimed it was enemy fire.

Hatchet II. A slasher flick starring Kane Hodder as deformed hatchet killer Victor Crowley, and Danielle Harris as a chick determined to get revenge for her family’s death. True horror fans know Danielle as Laurie Strode’s daughter in the fourthand fifth Halloween movies, AND as Laurie’s friend Annie in the Rob Zombieremakes.  And Kane Hodder is Jason from the 7th through the 10th Friday the 13th movies.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2. The sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua…only with puppies added. It stars George Lopez and Odette Yustman.

IF YOU WANT YOUR KID to go to an exclusive college…don’t waste your time with Harvard, Yale or Stanford. Any idiot can get in to those schools. If you want them to attend the cream of the crop…then send them to McDonald’s Hamburger University in China.

McDonald’s opened up the Hamburger U outside of Shanghai, and SO many people want in that they’re only accepting the best EIGHT out of every 1,000 applicants.

That’s an acceptance rate under 1%. In comparison, Harvard accepts about 7%of applicants…or about 875% more applicants than Hamburger U.
Yale accepts 7.5%…Stanford 7.6%.

Students who get accepted to the McDonald’s college learn how to manage a McDonald’s restaurant. There are currently 1,300 McDonald’s locations in China, and 1,000 more will be opening over the next four years. 

The fight for spots at Hamburger University is intense because unemployment is even worse over there than it is here.  More than 26% of China’s college graduates are unemployed. When you graduate from Hamburger University, you’re almost guaranteed a job right away. 


A GUY THAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS SMART
is KELSEY GRAMMER.  Maybe it was because he played a really smart guy on TV for all of those years.

Well…evidently he isn’t so smart after all. The word is that he prefered curling up with BILL O’REILLY to his semi-hot wife. 

Yesterday  CAMILLE GRAMMER dropped by on The Joy Behar Show and said she and Kelsey hadn’t had sex in over TWO YEARS. 

It sounds like Dr. Frasier Crane needs the number to a good councelor.

I LOVE GAME SHOWS. My dream job is being a game show host…swear to God! I know most people want to be a contestant…but not me. And here’s a perfect example of why…

On a recent episode of a Danish game show called Total Blackout, a contestant had to stand in a pitch-black room and identify three things by smelling them. The first two items were paint and cheese, and he got them both on his first try. But it took him a few guesses to get the third smell.

Thank God that show isn’t in Smell-O-Vision!

THAT’S IT FOR NOW…I have to make the mad dash to the grocery store for the prerequisite milk and bread run before the mother of all snow storms hits Maine. Once you’re snowed in…be sure to check in withme throughout the day on my Facebook page by clicking HERE.

Switch to our mobile site