IT LOOKS LIKE AMERICANS are willing to spend money again! Either that, or retailers were so desperate for our business that they offered better Black Friday deals than ever…and we just couldn’t refuse.
According to all reports, shopping and spending were up this year, compared to Thanksgiving weekend from last year.
On Friday, malls across the U.S. sold $10.7 BILLION worth of merchandise. That’s up 0.3% from last year. And there were 2.2%more customers than there were at malls last year. These numbers only count malls, not stores like Walmart or Target or Best Buy, unless they’re attached to shopping malls.
Overall, the National Retail Federation says that about 212 MILLION Americans, or about TWO-THIRDS of the country, visited stores or websites during Black Friday weekend. That’s up from 195 million last year.
Online spending this weekend was up 14% this year. And all of those early Black Friday deals that websites were offering on Thanksgiving DEFINITELY worked…spending on Thanksgiving was up 28% from last year.
These record numbers tell me that in our free market system…
people will do anything to avoid their relatives!
EVERY YEAR…PNC Wealth Management researches how much it would cost for you to buy all of the gifts in the 12 Days of Christmas song. All I can say is…calling birds, golden rings, and partridges in pear trees are getting expensive!
This year, if you wanted to buy all of the items from the song, it would cost you $96,824. That’s up 10.8% from last year.
Of course that’s the price for buying everything in the song each time it’s repeated. So you’d end up buying 12 partridges in pear trees, because it’s mentioned 12 times. You’d only have to hire 12 drummers drumming once.
If you only wanted to buy everything in the song once, it would still cost you $23,439…up 9.2% from last year.
The biggest jump in price this year is for the three French hens. Last year they would’ve cost you $15 per hen…now they’ve jumped up to $50 per hen.
Nine ladies dancing are up 15% from last year…they’ll cost you $6,294.03, or almost $700 per lady. For those prices you should be able to get them dancing topless!
No items went down in price from last year, and only three stayed the same: Four calling birds, six geese-a-laying, and eight maids-a-milking. Those eight maids still work for a standard $7.25-an-hour minimum wage.
I’M NOT SURE there are 10 fascinating people in the world…but BARBARA WALTERS seems to thing there is. So…she’s unveiled eight of the 10 people that will be featured on her annual Most Fascinating People of the Year special. This year’s list includes:
-Justin Bieber -Betty White -Prince William’snew fiancée Kate Middleton -Sandra Bullock -American Idol judge…and the very bootylicious Jennifer Lopez
-Sarah Palin
-LeBron James
-The cast of Jersey Shore
The two remaining names…including this year’s #1 most fascinating person…won’t be revealed until the special airs next Thursday night on ABC.
NEW DVD’s hit the shelves today…just in time for holiday shopping. Here’s what to look for…
Vampires Suck. A Twilight parody starring 90210′sMatt Lanter as Edward SULLEN, and former Gossip Girl stud Chris Riggi as “were-chihuahua” Jacob WHITE. Some chick named Jenn Proske is Becca, the girl they’re fighting over.
Vampires suck…and so doesn’t this movie!
Knight and Day.Tom Cruise survives a mission he was never meant to complete…and Cameron Diaz is a normal chick caught in his search to figure out who set him up. It’s played for laughs, with all the action you’d expect from a Tom Cruise spy flick.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.Nicolas Cage and Alfred Molina play two rival sorcerers fighting over modern-day Manhattan. Tropic Thunder’sJay Baruchel is the young kid that Cage recruits and trains to help him in his magical duels.
Going the Distance. A romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long as a couple stumbling through a long-distance relationship after an intense six-week summer fling. Christina Applegate plays Drew’s overprotective sister.
Twilight: Eclipse will actually be in stores on Saturday. Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are all back for the third Twilight movie, which involves an epic battle between the werewolves, the good vampires, and some evil vampires created by the redheaded vampire Victoria, who wants Bella dead.
A NEW PROMOTIONAL PICTURE from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 has been released. All it shows is a hand on a bed, clutching some feathers.
Sounds innocent enough…unless you know your Twilight, and you realize that it’s hype for the fact that Edward and Bella…the characters played by ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART…actually HAVE SEX in this one.
See, in the book, Edward and Bella’s first time includes a broken headboard, some bruising, and feathers flying everywhere after they bite and rip pillows open.
At least that’s what I’ve HEARD. I certainly have never read one of those Twilight books myself…and I challenge you to prove otherwise.
Breaking Dawn – Part 1 hits theaters next November. Part 2 follows in November of 2012.
IF YOUR KID LIKES VIDEO GAMES…and who’s kid doesn’t…then check out Epic Mickey. Mickey Mouse’s first stand alone game in more than 15 years is out today, exclusively for the Wii. In what could be the most underrated game of the year, Mickey makes his way through levels based on classic Disney cartoons like Steamboat Willy and and Clock Cleaners.
Mickey uses a magic paint brush and paint thinner to draw or erase objects that can help him progress through each level. You can also draw objects like a TV to distract enemies or a clock to slow down time.
He’s helped throughout the game by Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and some of his other Disney friends. The villains include Captain Hook, the clock from It’s a Small World, and Mickey’s evil half brother.
The game also includes a simple Disney-centered morality system, which will produce alternate endings depending on your actions.
THE OTHER GAME OUT TODAY…is Deadliest Catch: Sea of Chaos. It’s available on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii.
As the captain of your own boat you’ll have to make tough decisions like hiring the correct sailors and picking the appropriate hull size of your boat to balance your speed and the amount of crabs you can carry.
The PS3 and Wii versions of the game will utilize the motion control capabilities of each system, so you can look forward to pulling up crab pots with your own hands. Listen to Captain Sig Hansen talk about Sea of Chaoshere.
A portion of proceeds will be donated to the Seattle Fishermen’s Memorial in honor of Captain Phil Harris, who was hospitalized for a stroke this year and passed away in February.
THINGS NEED TO HEAT UP IN MIAMI…or else this guy could lose his bar!
When LEBRON JAMES decided to go to the Miami Heat, people in the media overreacted and instantly declared that the Heat would be the greatest team in the history of mankind. And the people of Florida bought into the hype.
John Todora owns a bar called Whiskey Tango in Hollywood, FL. He offered a new special for this season’s Heat games: If you’re watching the Heat at his bar and they lose, he’ll knock $25 off of everyone’s bar tabs.
He figured it would be a great promotion to get people into his bar for the Heat games…and since the geniuses in the sports media were predicting the Heat might lose as few as 10 out of 82 games, it seemed like low-risk, high-reward.
Well…as it turns out…the Heat haven’t been burning it up as expected. Eighteen games into the season, they’ve won only ten games.
Those eight losses have already cost John more than $30,000…and there are still 64 regular-season games to go!
He says he didn’t buy any insurance for his season-long promotion so he’s kind of at the mercy of the Heat. He does believe that if the Heat keep losing, his losses will go down. John says, ”In New York, they’ll keep watching so they could boo and get angry. Here…people will jump off the bandwagon as quickly as they jumped on.”
I’m sure that’s just what King James wants to hear!
DIDDY has released a video for Coming Home…a track off his Last Train to Paris album, which is scheduled to hit stores on December 14th.
DON’T GET ME WRONG…I like Diddy. And I really like the new song…
But I LOVED him when he was Puff Daddy. Especially when he was rappin’ with The Notorious B.I.G.
Obviously that ended tragically and there’s no going back to that.
Thank God we have it all on video!
So I’ll wrap up today’s post with one of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE songs/videos.
AS ALWAYS…thanks for reading. Make sure you tell a friend to check out STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE.
LESLIE NIELSEN…the comedy LEGEND who starred in Airplane! and the Naked Gun movies…died yesterday at a hospital near his home in Fort Lauderdale, FL. He was 84.
Nielsen had been in the hospital almost two weeks battling pneumonia. His nephew Tweeted that he was surrounded by family and friends as he “just fell asleep and passed away.”
People under a certain age probably wouldn’t know this, but Leslie Nielsen was actually known as a SERIOUS actor throughout the first half of his career, in movies such as the 1956 sci-fi classic Forbidden Planet. He was also the captain in the 1972 disaster film The Poseidon Adventure. Nielsen did lots of TV guest appearances, on shows like Gunsmoke, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, M*A*S*H, Hawaii 5-0, Kung Fu, The Love Boat and Fantasy Island.
His career EXPLODED when the writer-director team of Jim Abrahams and Jerry and David Zucker had the brilliant idea of putting his deadpan delivery to comedic use in their 1980 masterpiece Airplane! The four of them teamed up again for Police Squad!…a TV series in the same comedic vein. Nielsen played bumbling police lieutenant Frank Drebin. While it was hilarious…it only lasted a mere 6 episodes.
However, it did spawn the film The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad and its two sequels.
From there, Nielsen became the go-to guy for spoof-type comedies. Movies like Repossessed, Mel Brooks’ Dracula, Dead and Loving It, Spy Hard, Wrongly Accused, Superhero Movie, Stan Helsing and the third and fourth flicks in the Scary Movie franchise.
On a personal note…last night my buddy Brian texted me to tell me the news about Leslie Nielsen’s passing. Brian reminded me that he was in studio the morning that I had Leslie on the phone for an interview…and how cool he was.
I had almost forgotten that interview…but as we started texting back and forth I remembered just exactly how accomodating…and funny…he had been.
I had gotten his private phone number from a colleague…and not even knowing if it still worked…I called. Imagine my shock when he answered…listened to my pitch…and happily accepted.
My morning show partner had no idea who I had booked. She just knew it was a “famous celebrity.” We interviewed him…all along he answered in some crazy voice that had us all in stitches.
When he finally revealed his true identity, we had an even bigger laugh…and continued on with an awesome interview. He was kind enough to come back on the air with us a couple of more times over the course of the year to promote his new movies.
Leslie Nielsen was very cool.
GROWING UP…watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was a family tradition. Now that I have my own family….not so much. Really…what’s the point? Who really wants to see a huge helium-filled Snoopy being pulled down the streets of New York City.
Well wouldn’t you know it…THIS Thanksgiving it was actually worth watching. If you like CRAZY chicks!
In this years parade, there was a float featuring the current Miss USA, Rima Fakih. Rima was Miss Michigan, and won the Miss USA 2010 pageant back in May.
Well…just as the parade was getting under way on Thanksgiving, one of the girls who Rima BEAT showed up. She’s Davina Reeves, and she was Miss New York. She didn’t make the Miss USA pageant top 15.
But that didn’t stop her from wanting to get in on all the parade glory. So Davina fought her way past security…climbed onto the float…and waved, smiled, and signed autographs for FIVE BLOCKS before parade organizers could get her down.
Rima kept her cool. She talked calmly to Davina…while the security guards and Miss USA handlers were FREAKING OUT. Eventually, they talked her down without a major incident.
Davina was not arrested for her stunt. DONALD TRUMP, who now runs the entire Miss USA world, didn’t have any comment.
IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD… today is Cyber Monday. It’s like Black Friday, but on the Internet. So here are five Cyber Monday shopping tips from WalletPop.com.
1. Shop Early. It’s the Internet, so it feels like deals won’t end. But in reality, it’s just like Black Friday: The earlier you shop, the better the deal is. Some sites even started their Cyber Monday sales YESTERDAY.
2. Compare Prices. Don’t buy anything until you’ve checked the price on at least two or three other sites. Amazon is a good place to get a price on just about anything. You can also try Google’s Shopping link in the top left corner of their homepage.
3. Do Your Research. The great thing about buying stuff on the Internet is you can do research WHILE you shop. And the reviews on most websites can be sorted by Most Favorable, Most Critical, and Most Helpful. WalletPop.com suggests reading the top three reviews in each category.
4. Be Careful With Your Credit Card. If you end up on a weird website and the price is significantly lower than anywhere else, Google the name of the site and make sure it’s not bogus. You should also never use your credit card when you’re on public Wi-Fi because it’s a lot easier for someone to steal your credit card number.
5. Don’t Forget To Look For Coupons. A lot of websites let you use them on top of the Cyber Monday sale prices. RetailMeNot.com and CouponSherpa.com are two good places to check first.
FIGHTS IN THE NFL are usually pretty non-eventful because of all the safety gear. But in yesterday’s game between the Titans and the Texans, defensive back CORTLAND FINNEGAN and wide receiver ANDRE JOHNSON got into a pretty major brawl.
Fines AND suspensions are certainly on the way!
WHILE ON THE SUBJECT OF FOOTBALL…it’s official: The BLACK EYED PEAS will headline this season’s Super Bowl halftime show in Dallas on February 6th.
After the JANET JACKSON/JUSTIN TIMBERLAKEWardrobe Malfunction seven years ago, the halftime acts have all been older, and basically SAFER choices.
Since then the halftime shows have featured: The Who, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Prince, the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney.
Not exactly the kind of acts that attract the young people.
Prince is probably the most daring of those choices, given the highly-charged sexuality of his music back in the day. But he’s gotten a lot tamer and a lot more religious over the years.
Although some would argue that the giant shadow he cast while holding his guitar during one part of his halftime show was blatantly and intentionally phallic!
MEANWHILE…the Peas have unleashed the video for The Time (Dirty Bit)…the single with the chorus that borrows heavily from the Dirty Dancing theme song (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life.
YAHOO HAS PUT TOGETHER A LIST…of The Worst Music Videos of All Time. There were a couple guidelines: First they didn’t include old-school videos that are ONLY bad because they were shot in the ’80s. Conversely, they didn’t add any videos that they thought were INTENDED to be ironic and/or campy.
They called out 21 videos, but for some reason didn’t rank them. The list includes videos for…
MC Hammer’s2 Legit 2 Quit Bobby McFerrin’sDon’t Worry, Be Happy Styx’sMr. Roboto Prince’sBat Dance Heidi Montag’sHigher Susan Boyle’s new single, Perfect Day
Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Journey, N Sync, Guns N Roses, Beyoncé, David Bowie, Vanilla Ice, and Ja Rule also made the list. You can see the complete list…and watch all the videos HERE.
THIS IS CRAZY! If you thought YOUR Thanksgiving was unhealthy, check this out. You’ve probably heard of a Turducken…which is a chicken , in a duck, in a turkey.
Well…some guy who obviously cares NOTHING about his health did it with FIVE birds.
He put a quail inside a Cornish game hen, inside a chicken, inside a duck, inside a turkey. Then he wrapped it in bacon and put the whole thing inside a PIG.
In the end, they calculated that it had over 79,000 calories and 6,900 grams of fat. Watch this…
ON THAT NOTE…I’m off to have a sandwich.
Thanks for reading. Catch up with me throughout the day for more video’s, and comments on my Official Facebook Page.
BLACK FRIDAY HAS ARRIVED. While I opted to stay in bed, Charmen decided to brave the crowds. It was her first…and from what she told me, probably her last foray into early morning holiday shopping.
Here’s video of the ONLY Black Friday that I enjoy!
So while Charmen takes a nap, and the kids chill out in front of the TV, I give you some of the items that I didn’t have time for earlier this week.
IF GUITAR HERO IS ON YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING LIST…GUNS N’ ROSES singer AXL ROSE is not happy! He’s suing Activision….the company behind Guitar Hero…for fraud, breach of contract and unjust enrichment, among other things.
Here’s the deal: Axl is upset over the misuse of Welcome to the Jungle in Guitar Hero 3. Yrs…he DID have a deal with Activision that allowed them to use the song, but he claims there were CONDITIONS in the contract that were ignored.
Interestingly enough, they involved promoting his former guitarist SLASH. Basically, Axl is upset that the game “prominently features Slash imagery in direct connection with the song.”
He also says the game “exploits the prior association between Slash and Guns N’ Roses, promotes Slash’s and Velvet Revolver’s separate interests and includes Velvet Revolver tracks as available downloads, all of which was and is directly contrary to the contractual obligations.”
In other words…he’s jealous that Slash gets more love in the game than he does!
Even though it’s Slash’s guitar work you hear on Welcome to the Jungle, he was long gone from the band by the time the Guitar Hero games started coming out.
If that’s true, Axl might have a case, because Slash was plastered ALL OVER that game. His image was on the box, the posters, and he was even a playable character.
What bugs me is that the game came out over THREE YEARS AGO. No one really knows why it took Axl so long to file this lawsuit. But it’s definitely not surprising…he doesn’t really get around to ANYTHING in a timely manner.
He wants $20 million for damages. Activision hasn’t responded to the suit.
THE BIGGEST MOVIE OF THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND will most likely be the new Harry Potter flick.
FunnyOrDie.com posted an interview with DANIEL RADCLIFFE where he pretends to be delusional and says he IS Harry Potter…and that he’s actually playing the CHARACTER of Daniel Radcliffe.
He goes on to explain that he doesn’t have to fight bad guys anymore because he already killed them all. So now he mostly just “chills out” and hits on women! Pretty funny stuff.
WHEN I WAS A KID I HATED SCHOOL PICTURE DAY. Mostly because I was a geeky looking kid with huge bags under my eyes, and enormous ears.
Well these days no kid has to suffer that indignity. Because the newest trend in altered and enhanced photos is…SCHOOL PICTURES.
Kids who show up on picture day with scratches on their faces, messed up hair, braces…or the legendary picture day pimple…can choose to fix the blemishes for a small fee.
That’s right…they’re now airbrushing school pictures!
Lifetouch takes about 30 million student pictures every year. They say that about 10% of pictures are retouched…and by high school, that number gets closer to 50%.
The most common alterations they make are little tweaks like getting rid of the glare from eyeglasses…but they can whiten teeth, remove a cowlick, or add a tie or long sleeves. There’s really not much of a limit on what they can do.
Of course, some people think that paying to have your kid’s school photos digitally altered is WRONG. Kids aren’t supposed to look perfect.
Psychiatrists say that if a parent has their school photo airbrushed or altered it can inadvertently send the message that parents perceive their kid as less than perfect and not ideal.
I say it build character…and it gives you something to show to their future spouse and the wedding party at the rehearsal dinner. Not to mention showing it to their kids later in life!
BETTY WHITE got to host Saturday Night Live this year after fans started a campaign on the Internet. And now COOKIE MONSTER from Sesame Street is doing the same thing.
He’s even made an audition tape where he parodies MacGruber, Weekend Update, and also stars as the musical guest.
OK…THIS IS A BIT OF A DOWNER…but it’s also really interesting. The Six Flags theme park in New Orleans shut down on August 27th, 2005 when Hurricane Katrina was about to hit. It never reopened.
Now it’s scheduled to be demolished in January. So a filmmaker went there and made a seven-minute video showing the abandoned theme park.
After watching that I’m reminded that even though Thanksgiving was yesterday…most of us have SO much to be thankful for EVERY DAY. We should always try to keep that in mind.
Have a GREAT weekend. Look for another STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE on Monday morning. Stay in touch over the weekend on my OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE!
NO SURPRISE HERE…the cost of the classic Thanksgiving dinner is up this year…but it’s still pretty cheap.
Every year, the American Farm Bureau Federation puts out the results of its price survey to figure out how much it costs to serve a classic Thanksgiving dinner. And, somehow, it’s always cheaper than taking the family out for value meals at Arby’s.
This year they ran their 25th annual survey, and the total cost of a Thanksgiving dinner is up 1.3% from last year…taking it to $43.47 for a meal for 10, or $4.35 per person. Last year the cost was $42.91, or 56 cents less.
That cost includes turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, rolls with butter, peas, cranberries, carrots and celery, pumpkin pie with whipped cream, coffee, and milk.
The most expensive part of the meal is a 16-pound turkey, which has an average cost this year of $17.66, or about $1.10 per pound. That’s about six cents per pound cheaper than last year.
When the AFBF started running the price survey in 1986, the cost of this meal was $28.74. Adjusted for inflation, that would be about $55.50 in today’s dollars…meaning that the price of serving a Thanksgiving dinner has actually gone down by more than $10 in the past two-and-a-half decades.
Heck, I spent $30 taking the family to Cracker Barrellast night…and thought I got off lucky!
IF YOU’RE LIKE MOST PEOPLE…you’ll probably forget about your diet and pig out on Thanksgiving. But if you DON’T feel like eating your own weight in turkey, here’s a list of five ways to eat fewer calories tomorrow…
1. Eat White Meat. Dark meat has twice as much fat. And the correct serving is three ounces, which is about the same size as a deck of cards.
2. Eat Pumpkin Pie Instead of Pecan. One slice of pecan pie has around 500 calories. Pumpkin pie without whipped cream has 350.
3. Stay Away From the Candied Yams. A half-cup has 250 calories, and it’s basically all sugar. In fact, they’re even worse for you than regular MASHED potatoes, which have around 150 calories per serving if you don’t add gravy.
4. Don’t Eat Too Much Stuffing. It’s loaded with salt, and it’s even worse for you if you cook it IN the turkey because it soaks up extra fat.
5. If You’re Planning to Drink Alcohol, Drink Wine. Mixed drinks usually have a lot of concentrated sugar, which adds empty calories. A five-ounce glass of red or white wine has around 100 calories with no cholesterol, sodium, or fat.
WHILE MOST OF US are still planning Thanksgiving…a woman in Florida is already camping out in front of a Best Buy store so she can be the first person to take advantage of the Black Friday sales. And this didn’t just start today. She’s been there since MONDAY.
A news crew talked to her, and the video is hilarious because she basically set up a shanty town outside. And meanwhile, NORMAL people have been walking in and out of the store all week.
TODAY IS NATIONAL OPT-OUT DAY. If you’re flying out of town on a red-eye tonight…you might want to head to the airport NOW. Because you may find yourself face-to-face with lines like you’ve NEVER seen.
By now, everyone knows about the TSA’s new screening plan. About 20% of people will be selected for FULL-BODY SCANS that show what’s under your clothes. You can refuse…and instead get a full-contact, intimate pat-down.
So a movement started online to make today National Opt-Out Day. That means: If you get selected for a body scan, protest by saying NO…and make the TSA officer pat you down instead.
The thought is that pat-downs take longer…about four minutes, versus the body scans that take 10 seconds. So if everyone’s opting out and slowing the process down, it will send a message to the TSA and the federal government.
The choice of today for National Opt-Out Day is no coincidence…
the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the biggest and busiest travel day of the year.
By the way…if you try to opt out of the full-body scan AND the pat-down you could be facing an arrest or a fine up to $11,000.
U.S. intelligence recently revealed that terrorists are planning to hide explosives inside prosthetic limbs. An obvious attempt to “stump” airport security. HI-OOOOOOO!
BRISTOL PALIN DIDNOT win the Mirror Ball Trophy on Dancing with the Stars last night. Her talent-defying run for the title got her to THIRD PLACE…which is a lot further than anyone thought she’d get…and a lot further than a lot of people WANTED her to get.
KYLE MASSEY and LACEY SCHWIMMER came in second.
In the end, it was the frontrunners, JENNIFER GREY and DEREK HOUGH, who took home the trophy.
MEANWHILE…a group called In Defense of Animals is upset with the latest episode of Sarah Palin’s Alaska, because of alleged CRUELTY TO HALIBUT.
In the episode, Sarah and her daughter BRISTOL tagged along on a commercial fishing boat, and helped them club some halibut… which is apparently what you do after you haul the fish onto your boat. Fishermen say it’s more humane than just letting the fish suffocate out of the water.
There’s also a scene in which Bristol holds a beating fish heart in her hand, and she and Sarah laugh about it.
In Defense of Animals calls the episode a SNUFF FILM, adding that Sarah “enjoys causing suffering to other beings”…and that she and Bristol showed their ”complete insensitivity to the animal kingdom.”
Ratings were down 44% for the second episode of Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Only about 3 million viewers tuned in this past Sunday…
although that’s still a decent audience for cable.
MY FAMILY HAS STARTED A THANKSGIVING TRADITION.After we stuff outselves to the armpits with turkey, stuffing, and candied yams…we fill my wifes purse with more turkey and pile into the car and head to the theater.
If you do the same…then chances are I’ll see you at this movie…
TANGLED. Mandy Moore takes on the role/voice of Rapunzel in this Disney film. Chuck’s Zachary Levi plays a thief who stumbles across her tower and helps her escape…after she beats the crap out of him first.
Some of the other voices include Brad Garrett, Jeffrey Tambor, Son’s Of AnarchyRon Perlman, Lost’s Mr. Friendly (M.C. Gainey), and Richard Kiel, the guy who played Jaws in the old school James Bond movies. It might be fun to try to recognize each of them as you’re watching the movie with your kids,…and trying not to get caught gnawing on a turkey leg.
BURLESQUE stars Christina Aguilera’s in her very first acting role. She plays a small town girl who takes a job as a cocktail waitress at Cher’s burlesque theater and eventually becomes the star of the show after blowing Cher away with her singing.
FASTER. The Rockplays an ex-con out for revenge against the gang that murdered his brother 10 years ago. As he executes everyone involved in his brother’s death, he also has to run from a young hitman trying to prove he’s faster than the Rock.
Billy Bob Thornton and Spy Kids mom Carla Gugino are the cops trying to bring them down. Lost fans will recognize Maggie Graceas the hitman’s girlfriend.
And finally…there’s the movie my wife wants to see. Which means if I don’t fall asleep…umm, go see Tangled…then I’ll have the pleasure of seeing LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS.
It’s a romantic comedy starring Jake Gyllenhaal as a Viagra salesman who works his charm to nail an endless line of women until finally falling for Anne Hathaway.
There’s an eight question Love Personality Quiz you can take on their website. If that’s your thing, just click HERE.
AND FINALLY…this Thanksgiving I’m so thankful for so many things. Although I still haven’t landed a new job…I have a loving family, great friends, and good health. And of course I’m thankful for you taking time out of your day to read my ramblings.
I’m also thankful for Kanye West. Why? Because without Kanye…
this video wouldn’t be possible.
WARNING: This video includes profanity.
Have a GREAT Thanksgiving. Thanks again for reading…and feel free to leave me a Thanksgiving message on my Official Facebook Page.
AAAH…THANKSGIVING.Who doesn’t love the smell of a turkey in the oven, the aroma of sage in the stuffing, fresh mashed potatos, green beans in the presssure cooker, and a freshly baked pumpkin pie?
Researchers at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center in Chicago just finished a study of men ages 18 to 64, to find out which Thanksgiving scents turn them on the most. And I’m not kidding when I say “turned them on”…for the study, the researchers had men smell different fragrances, then measured how much blood started heading down to their JUNK.
The winner was…PUMPKIN PIE. Vanilla had the second-strongest effect on men. Strawberry-rhubarb pie came in third. Cranberry Sauce came in dead last.
So ladies if you want to give your man a thrill…but don’t necessarily want to rub a pumpkin pie all over your body…although that doesn’t sound that bad if you throw in a little whipped cream…try this new pumpkin pie-scented perfume available online.
And be careful this Thursday. If creepy Uncle Joe smiles and say’s he’d “like a slice of that pie”…he may be talking about something entirely different than what you’re talking about!
THIS THANKSGIVING I’M JUST THANKFUL I’M NOT A WOMAN. There’s a video online called “Creepy Alien Baby Stomach”, and that’s basically what it looks like. It’s a pregnant woman with a fetus that must be trying to do jumping jacks.
MY KIDS CHRISTMAS WISH-LIST KEEPS GETTING LONGER. It started out being very reasonable. When I took a look at it a few minutes ago I discovered it’s nearing two pages…EACH!
And as hard as I’ve tried to explain the fact that I’m not working, and the severence runs out at the end of the month…it’s just not getting through. Whenever I try to talk about keeping things “manageable”…I’m hit with, “We understand Dad. We’ll just ask Santa for more stuff this year so you don’t have to worry about it!” I guess Santa and I are going to have to have a long talk this holiday season.
According to a new Harris Poll, more than HALF of Americans say they’re going to be buying toys this holiday season. 53% of adults will buy toys as gifts this year…that’s up from 47% in 2008, right after the economy took its major dive.
But only 15% of people say that they’re going to spend more on toys than they did last year…and only 5% are going to spend much more than last year.
37% say they plan to spend less than last year…and 12% plan to spend much less than last year. You can count me…and Santa…in that group!
The most common toys that people plan to buy are children’s books…which seems like a REAL broad definition of “toys” to me, and most likely will for your kids, too. Video games and board games are second-most common. Dolls came in fourth.
54% of people say they plan on buying toys at a large discount store like Walmart or Kmart. 23% will buy them online. 11% will buy them at a national toy store chain…and 5% plan on buying them at a local, privately owned toy store.
ONE OF THE BIGGEST VIDEO GAMES this holiday season will undoubtedly be Gran Turismo 5. The best selling racing game of all time returns to the PS3 this week. For the first time, weather will play a factor in how you race.
You can also race against up to 15 other people while earning credits to upgrade your ride in GT Career Mode.
SOMEONE DOESN’T LIKE BRISTOL PALIN. TMZ is still running with their claim that the threatening package sent to Dancing with the Starswas targeted at BRISTOL PALIN, and now they’re saying that she and her partner, MARK BALLAS have received DEATH THREATS.
If you missed the story…last Friday, the FBI was called in when a staff member discovered an envelope containing a white powder. It ended up just being TALCUM POWDER…and there’s still no official confirmation that it was intended for Bristol.
Supposedly, the show has beefed up security. And sources say the show has asked Mark to stop Tweeting because they were worried he was, inciting people.
It looks like he has complied. Last week he Tweeted, ”Taking a break from Twitter till the season’s over. Thank you to all the supporters and fans. We love u. I’ll be back soon.” Here’s the link.)
Bristol and Mark will now do all of their interviews privately, in the studio, “where it’s more secure.” One source says, that everyone on DWTS is genuinely worried.
If I was them, I’d be more worried what’s going to happen…if by the grace of God…Bristol beats Jennifer Grey in the season finale.
AN X-RATED HARRY POTTER? Someone took clips from the Harry Pottermovies and made a trailer for an X-RATED version. It’s mostly just innuendo about Harry hooking up with Dumbledore.
REMEMBER THOSE COMMERCIALS where they’d tell you four out of five doctors recommended Bayer aspirin or Trident gum or whatever? Maybe that’s because the fifth doctor was too busy thinking about HUMPING YOU to recommend anything.
WebMD has released the results of a major ethics survey from more than 10,000 doctors around the U.S…and one of the big revelations is…a surprisingly high number of doctors are open to the idea of getting-it-on with patients.
83.1% of doctors, or just over four out of five, say that no, they’d never get involved with a patient. But the other fifth aren’t as sure.
4.5% say it depends on the situation. 11.7% say they’re open to it, but not until at least six months after the person stops being a patient…and 0.8% say they’d be open to a romantic or sexual relationship with a current patient.
Dr. Feelgood…Dr. Feelgood…please report to the Operating Room STAT!
AND NOW…WHEN ATHLETES ATTACK! On Sunday, Oakland Raiders lineman RICHARD SEYMOUR got ejected for pimp-slapping Steelers quarterback BEN ROETHLISBERGER.
So TotalProSports.com made a video list of Nine Unexpected Attacks From Angry Athletes.
It includes one of my personal favorites…the interview when former quarterback JIM EVERETT went after host JIM ROME for calling him “CHRIS Everett”.
I HEAR NEWS LIKE THIS…and it makes me wonder what’s wrong with the country.
JUSTIN BIEBER went four-for-four at the American Music Awards last night…winning everything he was nominated for: Favorite Pop/Rock Album, Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist, Breakthrough Artist…and the big one, Artist of the Year. At 16, he became the youngest artist to win that one.
Other Pop/Rock winners include: Favorite Female Artist: Lady Gaga Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Black Eyed Peas
Soul/R&B: Favorite Male Artist: Usher Favorite Female Artist: Rihanna Favorite Album: “Raymond v. Raymond”, Usher
The big winner for Rap/Hip-Hop was Eminem. He won Favorite Male Artist and Favorite Album for Recovery.
Country winners included: Favorite Male Artist: Brad Paisley Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Lady Antebellum Favorite Album: Play On, Carrie UnderwoodFavorite Artist (Adult/Contemporary): Michael Buble Favorite Artist – (Alternative Rock): Muse Favorite Artist – (Contemporary Inspirational): MercyMe Favorite Artist – (Latin Music): Shakira Favorite Album – (Soundtracks): “Glee: The Music, Volume 3 – Showstoppers”
The AMA’s ended with a performance by New Kids on the Block and the Backstreet Boys. Or, as Justin Bieber calls them… The Ghosts of Christmas Future.
Other winners:
IN ANOTHER SIGN OF THE END OF TIMES…Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Part 1had a HUGE opening day. It was one of the best opening weekends of all time, and the best weekend of any other movie in the Harry Potter series.
The Deathly Hallows earned a total of $125 million in its first weekend and got nearly half of that on its first day. It pulled in $61.2 million on Friday alone, which was enough to give it the 5th Biggest Opening Day of All Time. In terms of opening weekends, it’s sixth on the all time list.
I don’t let my kids watch Harry Potter because I’m convinced a lot of Harry Potter kids grew up to be Twilight fans. Which proves that Harry Potter is a gateway drug to even geekier crap!
HOW ELSE COULD YOU EXPLAIN THIS…Twilight actor BRONSON PELLETIER was attacked by four drunken men in the men’s room of a Hilton hotel in Birmingham, England the other day. Bronson plays a werewolf named Jared…kind of a minor character…but he’s in all of them but the first one.
He was there attending a Twilight fan convention. The attackers were guests at a wedding that was going on at the same hotel. They punched and headbutted Bronson and broke his nose.
HARRY POTTER has even provided us with the Stupid Phrase of the Day. When someone admits that they’re secretly a huge Harry Potter fan…they are said to be “Coming out of the cupboard.”
The “cupboard” comes from the Potter books; Harry lives in a cupboard under his aunt and uncle’s stairs before becoming a wizard.
Example: “No, baby, I wasn’t cheating on you on Friday night. I guess I have to come out of the cupboard and tell the truth: I love Harry Potter and I went by myself to watch the new movie three times.”
Knowing that should make your life complete!
IT LOOKS LIKE THE CHRISTMAS PARTIES ARE STARTING EARLY THIS YEAR. I don’t know when or where this happened, but there’s a new video on YouTube of a guy in a Santa Claus outfit walking through a parking garage. He’s so drunk, he falls face-first into a car. Then he tries to relieve himself in a corner, but two people walk out of an elevator and catch him.
IF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS TEND TO BICKER this time of year, here’s a list from Real Simple magazine on how to avoid holiday fighting.
If you REALLY want to avoid a fight on Thanksgiving, the best thing to do is keep quiet and just try to get through the night. But if you CAN’T, here’s what to do with seven types of difficult family members…
1. The Slacker. If there’s someone who never helps out in the kitchen and won’t even set the table, don’t yell. Instead, give them a specific task with specific instructions. If they STILL won’t help…THEN you can start yelling.
2. The Person Who Loves the Holidays WAY Too Much. If there’s someone who wants everybody to wear pilgrim and Indian hats at the table…and they’re over the age of 10…you don’t have to take part. But don’t talk about how stupid it is, or you’ll look like a jerk.
3.The Emotional Wreck. There’s bound to be at least one person who’s going through tough times this year. So make sure you give them a chance to vent about it BEFORE you sit down for dinner.
4. The Person Who Dominates Every Conversation. If you’re the host, seat them next to people who won’t care…like kids. And try to steer the conversation toward topics that other people are experts in.
5. The Person Who Does Everything, Then Makes You Feel Guilty. If someone insists on doing all the cooking, then complains about it, they’re probably doing it to feel superior… which is why it’s annoying. But the only thing you can do is offer to help. And if they won’t let you, then all that turkey is guilt-free.
6. The Bully. If someone starts causing trouble, try to keep things light. For example, if they say something like “You got the beauty and your brother got the brains,” say something like “Yeah, and obviously you got the charm.” If you insult them point blank, it’ll start a fight. But if you do it in a light-hearted, funny way, they’ll shut up.
7. The Alcoholic. Talk to them ahead of time and let them know that if they get drunk, they’ll have to leave. Then if they DO get drunk, you just have to make sure they get home safe. Telling them to leave might actually CAUSE a fight, but getting them out of the situation will avoid a BIGGER fight.
FACEBOOK GETS BLAMED FOR A LOT OF THINGS…but this is definitely a new one. Doctors in Italy are saying that using Facebook could trigger an ASTHMA ATTACK.
A guy in Italy has asthma. He was using Facebook and happened to see a bunch of photos of his ex-girlfriend getting VERY close to a LOT of new guys. That sight induced shortness of breath, which triggered an asthma attack.
The doctors in Naples, Italy believe that this kind of thing can happen to anyone. Facebook can lead to a lot of surprises and those types of in-your-face shocking photos…which can trigger attacks.
IF WE’RE NOT ON FACEBOOK…chances are we’re watching TV. Even though we always hear people say they don’t watch TV anymore…the truth is, when we’re in the privacy of our own homes, we all still watch a MASSIVE amount of television.
Nielsen just released the results of a new study, where they found that the average American watches 143 HOURS of TV every month. Let’s calculate that out…
That’s 4.7 hours of TV watching per day! That’s more than 25% of the average person’s waking hours. That’s 71.5 full days a year of TV, or almost one-fifth of the year.
The people at Nielsen say that DVRs haven’t made people watch less TV…they just change WHEN people watch. The 143 hours per month is steady from last year.
The study also found that teenagers watch less TV than they used to…so they may be the one age group that really IS making a full switch over to getting their entertainment online.
ONE OF TV’S BIGGEST SHOWS IS MOVING. Fox has announced that American Idol will move from Tuesday and Wednesday nights to Wednesday and Thursday nights.
Season 10 will premiere on Wednesday, January 19th.
Fox may have moved Idol so that they could keep Gleein its Tuesday night timeslot. By the way, Fox will be moving Fringe to Friday nights.
THIS COULD BE THE STRANGEST MUGSHOT…EVER. This dude was arrested earlier this month for soliciting a prostitute.
No, this is NOT photoshopped. This dude has half a head! It appears that his skull is totally caved in and the top of his head is gone. I have no idea where his brain went. I have no idea how he’s walking and talking…let alone savvy enough to solicit prostitutes.
In the police report the arresting officer wrote “half a head” under “unique physical features.”
THE TSA STRIP-SEARCHED A LITTLE KID! At the Salt Lake City International Airport on Friday, the TSA wanted to pat down a little boy even though he didn’t set off the metal detector.
The boy’s dad got so fed up with it, he took his son’s shirt off and handed it to the TSA agent.
THANKS FOR READING…and check my FACEBOOK page for more updates and videos throughout the day.
Look for another STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE tomorrow morning.
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE PAID MORE ATTENTION IN CLASS…
but I HATED math as a kid!
Heck, I still don’t like it…which is probably why I won’t be a millionaire by the time I’m 50.
According to a new study, if both members of a couple can answer these three math questions right, the odds are you’ll be millionaires by the time you reach the half century mark.
Really. It’s that simple. In the study, spouses who both answered all three of these questions right averaged a combined worth of at least $1.7 MILLION by age 50. Couples who both got all three wrong were worth under $200,000.
Ready to see if you’ve got millions of dollars in your future? Here are the questions:
1. If the chance of getting a disease is 10%, how many people out of 1,000 would be expected to get the disease?
2. If five people all have the winning numbers in the lottery, and the prize is $2 MILLION, how much will each of them get?
3. Let’s say you have $200 in a savings account. The account earns 10% interest per year. How much would you have in the account after two years?
If you know the answers…congratulations…you could be a millionaire. Also…can you tell me the answers? C’mon…help a brother out. I flunked Algebra I!
IF CHARMEN AND I HAD HAD A DAUGHTER…we would probably have named her Jessica or Fiona. Thank God we had boys!
For all the women reading this…if your first name ends with the letter “a”…you’re probably not going to like this. Or who knows…maybe you’re going to love it.
According to a French study, women whose first names end in the letter “a”…like Jessica or Fiona….GET-IT-ON with more random guys than other women! As a matter of fact…they have an average of 4.4 more sexual partners in their lifetimes than other women.
The horniest name of all is…LAURA. Women named Laura averaged 9.7 sexual partners, which was the highest average in the study.
Here’s the theory why this happens. Names that end in letters other than “a” are generally more traditional, classical and biblical. They’re not as exotic or trendy.
So parents who choose a traditional name might be more likely to have a traditional, stricter household…which can SCARE the promiscuity right out of a girl.
THE NEW HARRY POTTER movie opened at midnight to sold out theaters across the nation. If like me, you’re too old for midnight movies…or you have no interest in wizards and spells…perhaps you’ll want to go see the new Russell Crowe movie.
THE NEXT THREE DAYS stars Russell as a man that decides he has to break his wife out of prison after she turns suicidal. Elizabeth Banks plays his wife, and Liam Neeson plays an escaped prisoner who gives him advice. Rza and the incredibly sexy Olivia Wilde are also in it.
OF COURSE it has NO chance of beating out HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS-PART 1. Harry and his friends continue their quest to defeat Voldemort by destroying the magical objects that contain fragments of his soul.
So it’s sort of like the previous six movies, except everyone’s older. And this time, Harry, Ron and Hermione have dropped out of Hogwarts to finish the job.
You’ll have to wait until July for Part 2, since they split the last book into two movies. This one ends around Chapter 24.
EVERYBODY’S BEEN ON A BAD DATE. It just happens. But there are ways to get through it. Since it’s Friday…and some of you may be going on a date tonight…I give you six bad-date scenarios, and what you can do to make the best of it.
1. Your Date’s So Nervous, It’s Making You Nervous. Dates are ALWAYS nerve-wracking…but if the other person is a total head case about things, it’s going to ruin the experience for BOTH of you.
The best thing you can do to put your date at ease is to admit you’re nervous too. And if that doesn’t work, try telling an embarrassing story about yourself …anything that gets the two of you laughing will help break the tension.
2.Your Date Is Rude. If your date constantly interrupts you, or spends half the night texting people, it’s totally fine to call them out. It’s not like it could get any worse. Tell them you’re not used to someone doing that, and they’ll usually get in line.
3. There Just Isn’t a Spark. Sometimes there just won’t be a spark….but that doesn’t mean there’s no hope. First, try getting your date to talk about what they’re most into. It’s more exciting when people talk about what they’re passionate about. If that doesn’t work, try to get some playful competition going by challenging your date to a game of bowling or darts or something.
And in the end, even if there’s no spark, give them the benefit of the doubt and go on another date or two. Then see how you feel.
4. Your Date’s Boring. Maybe your date only talks about their job…or their DVD collection…or their cats. Whatever it is, it’s BORING. To fix this one, you’ve got to ask your date the right kind of follow-up questions.
If they keep talking about their job, ask them to describe a project they’re really passionate about. What you’re looking for is some emotion behind the small talk.
5. Their Views Are Totally Opposite of Yours. It’s always a good idea to skip the sensitive topics…like politics and religion…on the first date.
But if it comes up, and you end up disagreeing on a topic, you can still have an intellectual discussion, point-counterpoint-style. Just be respectful. But really…avoid this whole thing and don’t bring up the hot topics until at least the third date.
6. You Just Don’t Like the Person. If you’re on a date, and you suddenly realize there’s no way you’d EVER hook up with the person, spend the rest of the time focusing on the positive things you can get out of the encounter.
It’s really an opportunity to brush up on your dating skills while the stakes are low. Or use the time to find a new hangout in your city by asking your date if they know about any cool spots.
Just don’t act SO interested that you give the wrong impression, and they think you’re more interested than you really are.
SOMEONE THAT KNOWS A LOT ABOUT DATING IS CHER. And believe it or not…she’s dating her first man over 30! As a matter of fact…he’s over 50.
CHERis dating TV writer Ron Zimmerman. He’s 52…which makes their relationship a landmark event..
In an interview with Parade magazine, she says, ”Even though I’m older than him, I’d never before been with anybody over 30. Ron is short, a bit scraggly, like an absentminded professor. He’s the funniest person I have ever met, and the most eccentric…so bizarre and kind and very special.”
Cher also talks about nailing such celebrities as TOM CRUISE, WARREN BEATTY, VAL KILMER and RICHIE SAMBORA.
HAVING TATTOO’S IS FINE…but NEVER tattoo anyones name on your body unless it’s your kids. With that sad…it’s the question that has to be asked: What will EVA LONGORIA do about her TONY PARKER-related tattoos now that the marriage is over?
Eva has THREE tattoos she’ll probably want to put the laser to. She has the word “Nine” on the back of her neck, because that’s Tony’s jersey number.
On the inside of her right wrist, she has her wedding date, July 7th, 2007, written in Roman numerals. Tony has the same thing inked on his ring finger.
And then she’s got Tony’s initials…somewhere. All we know about their location is that it’s a NAUGHTY PLACE. She once said of that tattoo, ”It’s only seen by him. I’m not saying where it is, but let’s just say he gets to view it on a very regular basis!”
Ummm…not anymore.
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS WORKED…more importantly…I can’t believe I didn’t think of it years ago when I was single!
A woman was arrested this week for going around to different bars…pretending to be a doctor…and using the line to get women to let her FONDLE THEIR BREASTS!
Apparently, she would tell the women she was a plastic surgeon, and that her name was Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna. Yes, for some reason the fake name she chose was Aussieahshowna.
After she’d feel the women’s breasts, she’d give her professional medical opinion on whether or not they could go for implants… then give them the phone number of an ACTUAL licensed plastic surgery clinic.
That’s actually how the police were able to track her down. Women kept calling the clinic asking for Dr. Berlyn Aussieahshowna. The clinic called the police and they managed to figure everything out.
And now…ANOTHER twist. It turns out the woman is actually a POST-OP TRANSSEXUAL…who was born a man!
Now see…that make more sense to me. She may be female now, but this scheme is the work of a randy male brain!
She’s looking at two different counts of practicing medicine without a license and could get up to five years in prison.
BACK IN AUGUST… Eddie and Alex Van Halen announced that they were in the studio recording an album with David Lee Roth that would be out in 2011. There was also a rumor making the rounds about them going on tour.
Those things could still happen…but according to a spokesman for the band, you may want to temper your expectations.
He said that a recent report on MelodicRock.com…that the band was making progress on the album is untrue. He added that there is no tour planned right now…and no new album either. However, he did admit that the guys have been hanging out and are, “working on stuff.”
A new CD would be their first since Van Halen 3, which came out in 1998 and featured GARY CHERONE on vocals. The last studio album with David Lee Roth singing was 1984…which came out 26 years ago…in 1984, obviously.
To remind you just how AWESOME they were in ’84…here’s a special treat.
Have a GREAT weekend…and look for another STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE on Monday.
THANKSGIVING IS EXACTLY ONE WEEK AWAY. And as much as we all love being around our extended family at the holidays…at some point you’ll have had enough and feel the incredible urge to strangle someone.
So…here’s a GREAT excuse to eat Thanksgiving dinner with your family, then get the hell out before everyone starts pointing out each other’s faults. Just say: “I’d love to stay, but I’ve GOT to get to Wal-Mart NOW to buy a $19Blu-ray player.”
Black Friday is starting earlier than ever this year. Fewer and fewer retailers are waiting until 5:00 A.M. on the Friday after Thanksgiving to open their doors.
Wal-Mart has announced it will be starting its Black Friday sale at MIDNIGHT on Thanksgiving night…and they’re not alone. Old Navy and The Gap are starting at midnight too.
Toys “R” Us is beating them by two hours…they’ll open at 10:00 P.M. on Thanksgiving and start offering up the holiday deals.
Sears and Kmart are trying to get the jump on everyone…they’ll be opening and offering their best sale offers at 6:00 A.M. on Thanksgiving morning!
For now, Target is still set to open at 4:00 A.M. on Black Friday, Best Buy is set to open at 5:00 A.M., and Costco isn’t planning to join in until 9:00 A.M.
And…there’s a major price war going this holiday season, as all of these stores are desperately competing to grab your gift budget… however small it is in this economy. So other stores could still respond and push up their Black Friday opening times, too.
IF YOU ARE GOING TO A BLACK FRIDAY SALE…remember that all of the stores roll out “special deals” designed to make us spend as much as possible. Here’s a list of six marketing tricks, and why we can’t resist them…
1. A Limit of Five Per Person. Setting a limit increases the chances you’ll buy at least one. And if you were already planning to buy one, it increases the chances you’ll buy FIVE.
It works because we’re naturally competitive, and setting a limit makes us feel like what we’re buying is in high demand. But you’re really just buying five of something the store is trying to get rid of.
2. 23% Off Instead of 25%. Odd numbers like 23% or 47% suggest that whatever you’re buying has already been marked down at least once before…even if that’s not really the case.
3. Reminders That a Sale Is About to End. On the last day of a recent 25% off sale at Old Navy, they sent customers an email that said, “Last chance. Hurry before the discounts drop.”
That day, the traffic on OldNavy.com increased by more than 8%, and people stayed on the site for 6% longer than usual. That might not SOUND like a lot, but for a huge company like Old Navy, it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars.
The reason things like reminders and limited time offers work is because they play on your basic survival instinct to grab what’s available before someone else does.
4. Warranties. The vast majority of people who buy them never end up using them, but companies know we’re afraid to buy something expensive without some sort of insurance. That’s why they’ll offer you the two-year extended warranty, and not mention that the gadget you’re buying already comes with a ONE-year warranty.
5. Advertising How Much You’re Saving, Not How Much It Costs. Putting a sticker that says “$250 Off” on something that costs $500 makes people assume the item is actually worth $750. That way he first thing that catches your attention is how much you’d be saving instead of how much you’d be spending.
6. Offering a Free Gift If You Spend Over a Certain Amount. Obviously, it makes you spend more, and the gift is usually something you’d never buy. But this one is hard for people to resist because it appeals to your inner child.
Retailers know that buying gifts for other people makes you want to buy something for YOURSELF. And being able to say you got something for “free” eliminates all the guilt.
THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE IS…Ryan Reynolds…at least according to People magazine. He beat out guys like Jon Hamm, George Clooney, and Robert Pattinson.
Editors say he was chosen due to his unique combination of charm, talent…and not looking like Steve Buscemi! OK…I just made that part up…but you have to admit, while a great actor…Steve’s not much to look at. And I should know…because I’m not much to look at…and that guy makes me look GOOD!
Last year’s top dog, JOHNNY DEPP, was voted Sexiest Man of All Time in a poll on People.com.
And in a five-way online poll that also included Enrique Iglesias, Pauly D from Jersey Shore, Chad Ochocinco and the Old Spice Guy, Isaiah Mustafa…VIN DIESEL was named Sexiest Man Alive on Facebook!
But good for Ryan Reynolds…because really, after marrying Scarlett Johansson and making millions in Hollywood, he was overdue for a lucky break.
IN A FOLLOW UP FROM YESTERDAY…Bristol Palin has apologized for the language that she and her sister Willow used during a FLAME WAR the other day on Facebook.
As you may recall, some guy that Bristol apparently knew from high school was making fun of the family’s new reality show, Sarah Palin’s Alaska.
That touched off a battle between Bristol, Willow and several other people…during which Willow called the guy who started the war “gay”…and that other gay slur that starts with the letter “F”.
So yesterday, Bristol went back to Facebook and posted the following message: ”Willow and I shouldn’t have reacted to negative comments about our family. We apologize. On a nicer note, thank you for supporting the great competition in Dancing with the Stars.”
Later, she posted this message: ”Thank you supporters who continue to support. The haters are already pulling out all the stops this week to destroy.”
Willow has taken her Facebook page down.
MEANWHILE, A GROUP OF GAY REPUBLICANS…many of whom are Tea Party members…are NOT calling Willow on the carpet for using gay slurs on Facebook.
In fact, they think the media attention she’s getting over this is just part of the Liberal Machine’s attempt to bring Sarah Palin down.
A rep for GOProud.org says, ”The slur used here is one you could hear on the streets of West Hollywood or Chelsea every day of the week. Apparently, it’s only a homophobic slur when it comes from the daughter of a conservative female leader. Make no mistake; this is all about destroying Sarah Palin by any means necessary.”
WHILE THE GOP ISN’T UPSET WITH WILLOW…a dude in Wisconsin was so upset by Bristols performance on Dancing with the Stars that he wanted to KILL HIMSELF!
On Monday night, this guy and his wife were at home watching Dancing with the Stars. And after Bristol performed, he said he thought she was a bad dancer…and it made him FURIOUS.
So he grabbed one of his shotguns, SHOT THE TV, and then started threatening to kill himself…apparently feeling he was unable to live in a world where Bristol Palin could be allowed to dance so poorly on TV. Also, he’d been drinking.
His wife called the police. They arrived at the house and tried to get him to come outside, but he wouldn’t. His wife tried to round up his guns to keep them away from him, but he pointed one at her and told her to leave them alone.
Finally she ran out of the house. And after a FIFTEEN-HOUR STANDOFF, the dude calmed down, his suicidal impulses faded, and he surrendered to the police outside. He was arrested and charged with domestic disorderly conduct and second-degree reckless endangerment.
Here’s the dance that drove him to attempted suicide.
When Sarah Palin heard about the shooting she was furious…that it was just a TV and not a grey wolf.
I’M FURIOUS TOO…furious that I can’t watch Argentina’s version of Dancing with the Stars. Oh sure they do the Argentine Tango on the U.S. version all the time. But apparently in Argentina, they’re a LOT more lenient about what they can show on TV.
On a recent episode of Dancing for a Dream…which is like their version of Dancing with the Stars…some lucky guy got to do an INSANE routine with Playboy model Silvina Escudero. They ripped off each other’s clothes, the camera guy got as many close-ups of her thong as possible, and at one point she started grinding on the dude’s FACE. It ends with the guy taking off her BRA and trying to DEVOUR her left breast.
Now THAT’S dancing!
REMEMBERSTEVEN SLATER? He’s the JetBlue flight attendant who quit his job in August by grabbing a beer, opening the emergency exit, and jumping down the big rubber slide.
Well now he’s a RAPPER! Actually he’s pimping a smart phone app called Line2that lets you text with your friends in mid-air. The product sounds kind of cool…but the rap is just lame!
IT’S A BIG NIGHT FOR HARRY POTTER FANS.Harry Potter and TheDeathly Hallows-Part 1 opens tonight at midnight on 3,700 screens around the country. Tomorrow night, it’ll be on more than 9,000 screens in over 4,000 theaters.
Earlier this week the first 36 minutes of the movie were leaked online. If you didn’t know that, then you already missed it.
Not surprisingly, Deathly Hallows is the most searched-for movie on the various torrent sites, where people download movies for free…but illegally.
As far as I know, this was the only leak…and there’s no word how many people downloaded it before Warner Brothers got it removed.
Ticket sales are already through the roof at online sellers like Fandango.com.
MOVIEFONE.COMIS TRYING to find the biggest Harry Potter fan in America…and I’m pretty sure they did.
I’ll take a pass on the Harry Potter movie…but if you know how I could hook up my cable to watch Argentina’s version of Dancing with the Stars…I’d appreciate that…A LOT!
IF YOU’RE HONEST…you’re damned lucky to have the spouse that you have. Oh sure…from time to time they get on your nerves. Sometimes you think how great it would be to chuck it all…just take off and be wild and free again…like you were before them.
Go ahead…let your imagination run wild. But when you get back from your trip to Fantasy Island, take a minute and think about it…they may get on your nerves…but you do some annoying crap too. Who else is going to put up with all of that? And yes…we’re all guilty of annoying crap. So the chance that any of us could do much better on the open market is pretty slim.
In my case…there’s a better chance they’ll catch Osama Bin Laden by close of business today than me finding someone better than Charmen. So I know of what I speak.
However, if you’re only dating…then you legitimately have to wonder: Can I do better?
Well maybe I can help you find out. Go to the website CanDoBetter.com. Upload your photo and the photo of the person you’re dating, and then random strangers vote on which one of you can do better…or if you’re a perfect match.
If nothing else…just go there and vote on other couples. But be warned…it’s addictive.
A BIG PART OF HOOKING UP…ummm…I mean meeting your future soulmate…starts with flirting. An assistant professor of communications at the University of Kansas just released a study on flirting.
Yeah…unemployment is hovering around 10%…but some dude has a job actually study things like that. Anyway…
According to him, after surveying more than 5,100 people, the way men and women flirt falls into five very clear categories:
1. PHYSICAL. With this style, you flirt by showing sexual interest in the person…either with what you say, or by making lots of physical contact. When it works, it mostly leads to quick relationships with lots of sexual chemistry.
2. TRADITIONAL. Here, the man makes the first move and the woman plays it passive and coy. It’s most common with shy people, and usually they’ve known each other for a while before this type of flirting starts.
3. POLITE. This focuses on proper manners and NEVER saying sexual stuff. Which rarely happens when someone approaches a stranger. It usually happens when you’re set-up with co-workers or friends. And it usually leads to long-term relationships.
4. SINCERE. In this style, you try to create emotional connections and communicate genuine interest by having meaningful conversations and opening up. Women say they like this style the best, and it leads to meaningful relationships.
5. PLAYFUL. This involves making a lot of jokes…some of which are directed at the person you’re flirting with. Mostly, people who do this are trying to enhance their own self-esteem…and their relationships are shorter and less meaningful.
Take a quick quiz HERE to figure out how much you use each of these five flirting styles.
IT’S IMPORTANT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP to find common interests. If you do things together it forges an unbreakable bond. Take for instance this couple…they’re clearly having more FUN than pretty much any other couple out there.
Early in Monday morning they went to a Walmart and hopped onto one of those motorized shopping carts…you know, the ones that are designed for the elderly and super-chubbies. They rode the motorized shopping cart right out of the store, then out of the parking lot…and straight to a STRIP CLUB called JB’s Gentleman’s Club!
But those carts don’t go fast. So the cops were able to catch up with them just as they were abandoning the cart to head into JB’s.
I know you’ll find this hard to believe…but according to the police report…both of them appeared to be intoxicated!
But hey…that’s a couple that knows how to enjoy life and each other!
THERE WAS BIG MUSIC NEWS YESTERDAY…iTunes has FINALLY landed THE BEATLES. After YEARS of dead-end rumors and speculation…Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced that the Beatles have finally ended their digital holdout.
All 13 of the Beatles’ re-mastered studio albums are now available on iTunes…along with compilations and anthologies. Complete albums are being sold for $12.99, individual tracks cost $1.29 each, and the double albums will run you $19.99.
For now, it seems like Apple has the EXCLUSIVE digital rights to the catalog. There’s no indication that the Beatles will pursue deals with other online retailers.
All four members of the Beatles had to sign off on the iTunes deal: PAUL MCCARTNEY, RINGO STARR and the estates of GEORGE HARRISON and JOHN LENNON.
Within hours of being unleashed, the Beatles were climbing up iTunes’ album and singles charts. Five albums…including The White Album and Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band …cracked the Top 20.
Here Comes the Sun, Let It Be and Blackbird were among the six Beatles singles that had infiltrated iTunes’ Top 100 individual downloads.
Just to be clear, the Beatles may have been the most prominent iTunes holdout…but they weren’t the last. The remaining holdouts include: AC/DC, Garth Brooks, Kid Rock, Bob Seger, Def Leppard and Tool.
Most of these artists are refusing iTunes either because they’re unhappy with the royalties they’d receive…or they don’t want their tracks sold individually online.
IF YOU HAVE KIDS…or if you’re just a big kid yourself…then you’ll love this. Cars 2hits theaters next June…but I found the new trailer online.
SPEAKING OF NEW MOVIES…when I was in New Orleans over the summer RYAN REYNOLDSwas there shooting the GREEN LANTERN. A buddy of mine actually met the casting director, or set designer…whatever…and somehow ended up in a gay bar in the French Quarter. However, that’s a story for another time! The bottom line is, this guy spent an hour telling my buddy what a great movie this is going to be.
You be the judge. Here’s the just-released trailer.
SARAH PALIN’S 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER…Willow is accused of using GAY SLURS during an argument with a guy on Facebook. The slurs include the one that rhymes with the last name of BOB SAGET.
It happened Sunday night, during the premiere of the Palins’ new reality show, Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Some guy who went to school with some of the Palin kids, wrote a status update on his page that said, ”Sarah Palin’s Alaska, is failing so hard right now.”
To which BRISTOL PALIN replied, ”You’re running your mouth just to talk (crap).”
That set off a little war between the Palins and some other people who were obviously goading them. During the online brawl, Willow said to ”Haha your so gay. I have no idea who you are, but what I’ve seen pictures of, your disgusting. My sister had a kid and is still hot.”
Then she added, quote, “STFU. Your such a ( and the word that rhymes with SAGET).”
Here’s another little nugget from Bristol…”You’ll be as successful as my baby daddy, And actually I do work my ass off. I’ve been a single mom for the last two years.”
LADY ANTEBELLUM’SSONGNeed You Now is one of the biggest crossover smashes of the year. It’s certainly the band’s career song at this point. But there’s a problem.
Some people think it sounds eerily similar to a different crossover hit from back in the ’80s…a song called Eye in the Sky, by THE ALAN PARSON’S PROJECT.
An Executive Personal Assistant to Alan Parsons sent a letter to Nashville Scene saying that “hundreds of Alan Parson’s fans” … yes, he has them…are saying Need You Now is a LAZY RIPOFF of Eye In The Sky.
I guess that means Lady Antebellum didn’t actively rip the song off…but when the melody came into their heads, they went with it, instead of digging deeper for something more original.
Somebody put together a mash-up of the two songs, and they do blend seamlessly together.
As of last night, there was no comment from Lady Antebellum…and there’s been no lawsuit filed…YET!
Have a great day. Thanks for dropping by the website. Check out my FACEBOOK page later today for other tidbits…including what cell phone melts faster on a gas grill!
Look for another STRAIGHT FROM THE FOX HOLE tomorrow morning.
Justin Bieber
Sounds innocent enough…unless you know your Twilight, and you realize that it’s hype for the fact that Edward and Bella…the characters played by ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART…actually HAVE SEX in this one. 
Well…as it turns out…the Heat haven’t been burning it up as expected. Eighteen games into the season, they’ve won only ten games.
But I LOVED him when he was Puff Daddy. Especially when he was rappin’ with The Notorious B.I.G.
